Post by Mutt on Apr 4, 2011 22:41:49 GMT -5
Carsen/Cartman Friendship "Cat"
"Alley Heart"
It was a calm mild spring evening. Around the time when the rays of the sun were still shimmering on the horizon and the night sky was creeping in as the sun was ending its shift and the moon beginning its.
People were s
till lingering about the city including one Carsen Darling. The end of a very busy day and she was walking home ready to sit on her couch and pop in her favorite DVD "Tangled" just a nice quiet relaxing night.
As she continued her lone stroll home a figure in the distance caught her eye. The shape and size of silhouette gave up its owner after all there was no on in South Park as distinctive or as fat as Eric Cartman.
Carsen stopped in tracks wondering what fat ass was doing out so late at night, perhaps he was trying to re-cast his role as The Coon. But he didn't appear to be wearing his costume instead he was carrying a rather large bag and a few bowls?! Cartman walks under a streetlight to reveal the large bag to be a bag of Cat Chow. Was it for his cat? Couldn.t be for one he only had ONE cat and Mr.Kitty certainly didn't need to eat all that food on top of that Cartman wasn't walking it home instead he was walking down an alleyway.
Carsen hesitated but she was very confused and before she knew it she was quietly following the fat ass. She followed him around a corner where he suddenly stopped to look behind him. Carsen hid as not to get caught who knows what Cartman would do to her in a dark alleyway. All he knew the coast was clear.
"Alright I'm here guys, I hope I brought enough this time."
Cartman shouted and as if on cue quite a number of cats came out of the shadows.
"What the hell?" Carsen said to herself as numerous cats came up and sat by Cartman's feet. They were the forgotten strays of South Park but it appeared as if one fat ass with a surprisingly soft heart began pouring bowls of food and sat them down each cat taking its spot and quickly eating.
Without thinking Carsen quietly walks out of her hiding spot to investigae even further.
"I am NOT watching Eric Cartman...THE Eric Cartman actually caring for someone other then himself!" She thought to herself. And on further inspection this part of the alley had a rather homely touch to it.
Under a lone bright street light She noted a row of large cardboard boxes on each side of this alley each with its own old pillow and/or blanket and even a few with old toys!
"Well another Friday night with you guys but that's alright." Cartman continued on as he placed bowl after bowl of food. Before he felt the presence of another person. "Damn it I bet it's that damn Mr.Tightie Whities superhero and his dog boy sidekick again!" He turns around to find Carsen instead. "What the you're not Mysterion! "
"Well duh last time I remembered Mysterion had a penis..." Carsen rolled her eyes
"Carsen!? Wh---what the fuck are you doing here!? Were you stalking me?!"
"No----not really I saw you with that large ass bag of cat food and I wanted to know what you were up to.....did you....did you make these shelters for all these cats??" Carsen asked
Cartman hesitated but sighed. Caught with a soft spot he couldn't hide. "Yes, yes I built these stray cats a place where they can have some kind of place to go to since no one wants them."
"....I...I didn't even know you cared about anyone....other then yourself that is..." Carsen replied
"Truth is I don't...other then these cats...these cats don't call me fat ass or judge me for who I know I am. They're willing to accept me for who am I." Cartman continued as he places another bowl on the ground which is quickly surrounded by a trio of kittens and their mom. "Cause you know no one else will..."
"Awwwh...damn...I'm sure....." Carsen started off but couldn't think of a word to say.
"Look I know what I am. I'm a self-centered, racist, anti-Semitic, more evil then the Dark Lord Cthulu, asshole. I'm not going to deny it it's me.....it's who I am and it'll probably never change. But the only thing I ever loved other then myself have been cats I don't know why....I guess even the most evil of evil has a soft spot for something.." Cartman replied
"Well at least you love something..so maybe there's hope....if ever a small one..." Carsen said trying to be postive and nice.
"Yeah well don't tell anyone. If they found out that'd think I was a weak pussy!" Cartman retored angrily
"I understand.." Carsen replied
"Say.....you want a cat? A lot of these guys are really friendly." Cartman offered as he picks up a tiny calico kitten and offers her.
"I'm sorry I would but..... I'm sadly allergic cats." Carsen looked down. "You ever try given them to someone else?"
"Well you're the only one who knows about this so no..." Cartman groaned. "I'm sorry Scout." He tells the kitten as he sits her back on a pillow.
"You named her...?" Carsen asked
"I name everyone that comes here. That's Thor *points at a big black cat* that's Ghost *points at a smokey gray cat*, *he points at the mother cat with her three kittens* That's Poe and her kittens Lilly, Mo, and Gus, that's Riley *points at a big relaxed orange tabby* that's Mysterikat, *points at a silver/tabby and white cat.* Yes I named one after Mysterion I called him that cause his tail is bent like his question mark......don't ever tell Kinneh that..* Cartman groans* And there's others that haven't showed up yet but yeah. " Cartman explained
"....you have a bigger heart then I thought...I'm sorry to ever think you were 100% cold hearted." Carsen replied
"Yeah well everyone thinks that...I think that's why I get along with these cats no one wants them like no one wants to be around me. "Cartman groaned
"Awwh don't feel everyone has someone searching for them....you just haven't found them yet nor have they found you.." Carsen replied
"You....you really think so?" Cartman asked
"I know so...." Carsen responded
"Wow...thanks that's....that's the nicest thing anyones ever told me.." Cartman said with a very slight smile.
"You're welcome." Carsen returned a warming, smile. Something she never thought she'd do in front of Cartman in a zillion years.
"Well it's getting late you better go." Cartman said "With my profile Mysterion and Dodger tend to want to beat the shit out of me anytime they see me with someone who isn't normally with me especially in the dead of night." He rolled his eyes
"Aww but I just started feeling good feelings for you...." Carsen stood for a few minutes and with some hesitance. " So I was going home to watch Tangled want to join....just you know..." She asked mainly for feeling bad about the lonesome fat ass.
"Really I LOVED that movie! I mean....if you really want me to...." Cartman replied surprised that she offered him any token of friendship.
"Well sure.....why not..?*curse my kindness what will this get me?* she thought in her mind but she just didn't have it in her to be mean this time around.
"I would but... the cats they still need someone..." Cartman replied
"I...have an idea." Carsen smiled.
The two leave the alleyway carrying a large cardboard box with the group of cats. They sit it down on a porch, ring the doorbell, and hide in a nearby bush.
The door opens and a figure steps out.
"What the balls?!" Kitty responds staring at the box before her. She opens it up to her surprise. "KITTIES!! Lots of kitties." She notes as sets of cat eyes stare back at her. "Awwwh I'll take care of you and adopt you out! Hey...you have Mysterion's question mark! She picks up the cat with the bent tail. "Mysterikat, Mutt would LOVE you!" She takes him and the box of cats inside and closes the door.
"Well...I guess they don't need me anymore..."Cartman sighed as he comes out of the bush
"But they'll always be more stray cats...." Carsen commented
"True.." Cartman smiled slightly. "Say...Carsen...we can keep this a secret but is it alright if I call you my friend...?"
"Aahhhh sure..." Carsen replied with a bit of shock and a bit of hestiance she smiles back. "Well now how about that movie?"
"You lead the way." Cartman replied and the two walk off into the night. Forming an unexpected, secretive friendship one would never have thought to have happened in again a zillion years.....
"Alley Heart"
It was a calm mild spring evening. Around the time when the rays of the sun were still shimmering on the horizon and the night sky was creeping in as the sun was ending its shift and the moon beginning its.
People were s
till lingering about the city including one Carsen Darling. The end of a very busy day and she was walking home ready to sit on her couch and pop in her favorite DVD "Tangled" just a nice quiet relaxing night.
As she continued her lone stroll home a figure in the distance caught her eye. The shape and size of silhouette gave up its owner after all there was no on in South Park as distinctive or as fat as Eric Cartman.
Carsen stopped in tracks wondering what fat ass was doing out so late at night, perhaps he was trying to re-cast his role as The Coon. But he didn't appear to be wearing his costume instead he was carrying a rather large bag and a few bowls?! Cartman walks under a streetlight to reveal the large bag to be a bag of Cat Chow. Was it for his cat? Couldn.t be for one he only had ONE cat and Mr.Kitty certainly didn't need to eat all that food on top of that Cartman wasn't walking it home instead he was walking down an alleyway.
Carsen hesitated but she was very confused and before she knew it she was quietly following the fat ass. She followed him around a corner where he suddenly stopped to look behind him. Carsen hid as not to get caught who knows what Cartman would do to her in a dark alleyway. All he knew the coast was clear.
"Alright I'm here guys, I hope I brought enough this time."
Cartman shouted and as if on cue quite a number of cats came out of the shadows.
"What the hell?" Carsen said to herself as numerous cats came up and sat by Cartman's feet. They were the forgotten strays of South Park but it appeared as if one fat ass with a surprisingly soft heart began pouring bowls of food and sat them down each cat taking its spot and quickly eating.
Without thinking Carsen quietly walks out of her hiding spot to investigae even further.
"I am NOT watching Eric Cartman...THE Eric Cartman actually caring for someone other then himself!" She thought to herself. And on further inspection this part of the alley had a rather homely touch to it.
Under a lone bright street light She noted a row of large cardboard boxes on each side of this alley each with its own old pillow and/or blanket and even a few with old toys!
"Well another Friday night with you guys but that's alright." Cartman continued on as he placed bowl after bowl of food. Before he felt the presence of another person. "Damn it I bet it's that damn Mr.Tightie Whities superhero and his dog boy sidekick again!" He turns around to find Carsen instead. "What the you're not Mysterion! "
"Well duh last time I remembered Mysterion had a penis..." Carsen rolled her eyes
"Carsen!? Wh---what the fuck are you doing here!? Were you stalking me?!"
"No----not really I saw you with that large ass bag of cat food and I wanted to know what you were up to.....did you....did you make these shelters for all these cats??" Carsen asked
Cartman hesitated but sighed. Caught with a soft spot he couldn't hide. "Yes, yes I built these stray cats a place where they can have some kind of place to go to since no one wants them."
"....I...I didn't even know you cared about anyone....other then yourself that is..." Carsen replied
"Truth is I don't...other then these cats...these cats don't call me fat ass or judge me for who I know I am. They're willing to accept me for who am I." Cartman continued as he places another bowl on the ground which is quickly surrounded by a trio of kittens and their mom. "Cause you know no one else will..."
"Awwwh...damn...I'm sure....." Carsen started off but couldn't think of a word to say.
"Look I know what I am. I'm a self-centered, racist, anti-Semitic, more evil then the Dark Lord Cthulu, asshole. I'm not going to deny it it's me.....it's who I am and it'll probably never change. But the only thing I ever loved other then myself have been cats I don't know why....I guess even the most evil of evil has a soft spot for something.." Cartman replied
"Well at least you love something..so maybe there's hope....if ever a small one..." Carsen said trying to be postive and nice.
"Yeah well don't tell anyone. If they found out that'd think I was a weak pussy!" Cartman retored angrily
"I understand.." Carsen replied
"Say.....you want a cat? A lot of these guys are really friendly." Cartman offered as he picks up a tiny calico kitten and offers her.
"I'm sorry I would but..... I'm sadly allergic cats." Carsen looked down. "You ever try given them to someone else?"
"Well you're the only one who knows about this so no..." Cartman groaned. "I'm sorry Scout." He tells the kitten as he sits her back on a pillow.
"You named her...?" Carsen asked
"I name everyone that comes here. That's Thor *points at a big black cat* that's Ghost *points at a smokey gray cat*, *he points at the mother cat with her three kittens* That's Poe and her kittens Lilly, Mo, and Gus, that's Riley *points at a big relaxed orange tabby* that's Mysterikat, *points at a silver/tabby and white cat.* Yes I named one after Mysterion I called him that cause his tail is bent like his question mark......don't ever tell Kinneh that..* Cartman groans* And there's others that haven't showed up yet but yeah. " Cartman explained
"....you have a bigger heart then I thought...I'm sorry to ever think you were 100% cold hearted." Carsen replied
"Yeah well everyone thinks that...I think that's why I get along with these cats no one wants them like no one wants to be around me. "Cartman groaned
"Awwh don't feel everyone has someone searching for them....you just haven't found them yet nor have they found you.." Carsen replied
"You....you really think so?" Cartman asked
"I know so...." Carsen responded
"Wow...thanks that's....that's the nicest thing anyones ever told me.." Cartman said with a very slight smile.
"You're welcome." Carsen returned a warming, smile. Something she never thought she'd do in front of Cartman in a zillion years.
"Well it's getting late you better go." Cartman said "With my profile Mysterion and Dodger tend to want to beat the shit out of me anytime they see me with someone who isn't normally with me especially in the dead of night." He rolled his eyes
"Aww but I just started feeling good feelings for you...." Carsen stood for a few minutes and with some hesitance. " So I was going home to watch Tangled want to join....just you know..." She asked mainly for feeling bad about the lonesome fat ass.
"Really I LOVED that movie! I mean....if you really want me to...." Cartman replied surprised that she offered him any token of friendship.
"Well sure.....why not..?*curse my kindness what will this get me?* she thought in her mind but she just didn't have it in her to be mean this time around.
"I would but... the cats they still need someone..." Cartman replied
"I...have an idea." Carsen smiled.
The two leave the alleyway carrying a large cardboard box with the group of cats. They sit it down on a porch, ring the doorbell, and hide in a nearby bush.
The door opens and a figure steps out.
"What the balls?!" Kitty responds staring at the box before her. She opens it up to her surprise. "KITTIES!! Lots of kitties." She notes as sets of cat eyes stare back at her. "Awwwh I'll take care of you and adopt you out! Hey...you have Mysterion's question mark! She picks up the cat with the bent tail. "Mysterikat, Mutt would LOVE you!" She takes him and the box of cats inside and closes the door.
"Well...I guess they don't need me anymore..."Cartman sighed as he comes out of the bush
"But they'll always be more stray cats...." Carsen commented
"True.." Cartman smiled slightly. "Say...Carsen...we can keep this a secret but is it alright if I call you my friend...?"
"Aahhhh sure..." Carsen replied with a bit of shock and a bit of hestiance she smiles back. "Well now how about that movie?"
"You lead the way." Cartman replied and the two walk off into the night. Forming an unexpected, secretive friendship one would never have thought to have happened in again a zillion years.....
