Post by kyledenny on Mar 5, 2011 4:22:37 GMT -5
Chapter 14- Getting somewhere
Denny woke up the next morning, feeling stronger than the previous day. He looked over and noticed the nurse was busy injecting medication into his iv.
“What’s that for?”, he whispered curiously.
“Morphine to keep you comfortable.”, the nurse whispered back. “Do you remember anything from when you were on the Dilaudid?”
“Some stuff. Didn’t I freak out a couple times?”
“Your friends said you got upset when everybody was here. You were having another emotional breakdown. Dilaudid can sometimes do that so be glad the doctor put you back on Morphine. Did it work last night?”, asked the nurse.
“It seems to work all right.”, said Denny. “Now that I felt a rush with the Dilaudid, there isn’t one on the Morphine anymore.”
“That’s not unusual.”, said the nurse. “Since the Dilaudid is stronger than the Morphine, it has the stronger effect and switching to the weaker one, you’re already used to the other one.”
“That makes sense.”, said Denny.
Violet began to stir. Denny turned to look at her. She looked much better than yesterday, even having just woke up. Denny also looked over at Kyle, still hooked up to all the iv fluids. Kyle was still pretty out of it. Violet turned over and looked at Denny.
“What’s up, there?”, asked Denny, looking at her.
“Oh hey Denny, how’d you sleep?”, asked Violet, sleepily.
“Pretty good, actually.”, said Denny. “How about you? Did the medicine help?”
“I feel better than I did when I got up yesterday, so yes.”, said Violet.
“I can give you more tonight if you want?”, suggested the nurse.
“It mellows me out so that’s not a bad idea.”, said Violet.
“That would be the Valium, the sleep medicine just helps you sleep.”, said the nurse.
“All the same, that stuff works good.”, said Violet.
“Remember, I can give you Valium in the morning too but I can only give it to you every 8 hours, so keep that in mind.”, said the nurse.
“What about Morphine, if I need it?”, asked Denny.
“That’s every 6 hours.”, said the nurse. “I just gave you some and it’s 8:00, so if needed, I can give you more at 2:00.”, said the nurse.
“Did they get the MRI scheduled yet?”, asked Denny.
“They’re going to do that at noon.”, said the nurse. “I was told you and Violet will be meeting with Kendra at 10.”
“Sweet, I was hoping to go there earlier.”, said Denny.
“At least the hard part is out of the way.”, said Violet.
“That and I’m off the Dilaudid, so I won’t freak out.”, said Denny.
“Come on now, even Dilaudid or not, all that shit is enough for anybody to have a similar reaction.”, said Violet.
“Whatever, I’m focusing on the next step now so that’s behind me.”, said Denny.
Kyle began to stir, wincing a little bit, no doubt due to the uncomfortable iv. He also looked better than yesterday, despite being hooked to the iv, pumping fluid.
“Hey there Kyle, how do you feel?”, asked Denny.
“Hey Denny.”, said Kyle, sleepily. “My head feels better than yesterday. That saved my life, that hunch you had..”
“Anytime, bro.”, said Denny.
A lady dressed in a white lab coat walked into the room, carrying a toolbox.
“Hey everybody, it’s time for a blood test.”, she said.
“Great, I hate needles.”, said Violet.
“I know a lot of people do.”, said the phlebotomist. “Who would like to go first?”, she asked, taking materials out of the toolbox.
“I’ll do it.”, said Denny. “Unless anybody just wants to get it over with?”
“I must be out of my mind but I think I’ll just suck it up and get it over with but I want you to hold my hand, Denny.”, said Violet.
“It’s always best to just do it and get it out of the way.”, said the phlebotomist, nodding. “It’ll be quick and we’ll be done then the next person can go.”
She put the stem of the needle on the tubing and prepped an alcohol swab before getting out the tourniquet and wrapping it around Violet’s arm. Violet grabbed Denny’s hand and looked away. The phlebotomist began to feel around for a vein, grabbed the alcohol swab and rubbed it over the area. She took the cover off the needle and prepped the vaccutainer tube.
“Ok, here it comes.”, warned the phlebotomist, sticking the needle in. Violet shut her eyes tight and squeezed Denny’s hand tightly.
As sudden as it started, it was over. The phlebotomist took out the needle and put gauze and tape over the area. As she stuck the tainted needle into the sharps container, she turned back to Denny and Kyle. Denny looked at Kyle, who didn’t look too eager to be stabbed.
“Do you want me to go first, Kyle?”, asked Denny.
“I… I think I’ll get it over with too.”, said Kyle, still not looking eager to be stabbed but looking determined. The phlebotomist once again connected the stem of the needle to the tubing, prepped the alcohol swab and vaccutainer tube, found the vein, and took the cover off the needle.
“Ok, here I come.”, said the phlebotomist. Kyle took the needle a little better than Violet, only slightly wincing at the pinch. Just like the first time, she pulled the needle out, taped the wound, and stuck the needle into the sharps container.
“That just leaves Denny left.”, said the phlebotomist, turning to him. Denny looked right back, nodding. When the needle went in, Denny held his breath but didn’t make a sound. When the phlebotomist turned back to the group, she gave them little papers.
“Well done everyone. You’ll need to keep the tape on for about 20 minutes. I also gave you a little paper with instructions for post-care.”, said the phlebotomist, picking up her toolbox and heading out of the room.
:“Fuck, I don’t want to keep doing that shit.”, said Violet.
“You’ll get used to it. It’s a bitch at first but then it’s more of an annoyance than a fear.”, said Denny.
Stan, Kenny, and Ivy came into the room, iv poles in tow. Ivy looked hesitant to see Kyle’s condition but then relaxed when she saw him sitting up. Stan looked ready run into Kyle’s arms.
“Kyle! I’ve been so worried about you!”, he exclaimed.
“I feel so much better seeing you all right!”, said Ivy, going to his side and kissing him. Denny saw Stan roll his eyes, annoyed.
“You ok there, Stan?”, asked Denny.
“Huh? Yeah, everything’s fine.”, said Stan, pretending he hadn’t done anything.
“How’s that Morphine working?”, asked Kenny to Denny.
“It seems to be working fine.”, said Denny. “I’m still kind of having withdrawal from the Dilaudid.”
“It works pretty good for me.”, said Violet. “How come I still get a rush from it?”
“Because I was on the Dilaudid and that’s stronger . You’ve never been on it so Morphine will be the one to give you the rush.”, said Denny.
“What do you think Kendra’s going to say today?” asked Violet.
“Well, the hard part is out of the way but that doesn’t mean she won’t still touch base with it.”, said Denny. “I think we’ll go more into detail with the dreams today.”
“I’m glad the hard part is over. That would’ve put me in a loony bin if I had all that shit to deal with.”, said Violet.
“I get told that so many times.”, said Denny. “I see their point too.”
“That needle fucking hurt.”, said Violet.
“I’m sure it did but like I said, you’ll get used to it.”, said Denny.
“How’d you take it, Kyle?”, asked Ivy.
“He was kind of nervous at first but did reasonably well.”, said Denny.
“It hurt me too but I have to poke myself because of my diabetes, so I’m somewhat used to it.”, said Kyle.
“I understand that.”, said Denny. “It’s like the Arizona heat, you put up with it for a long time but you never get used to it. I’ve had to be poked by needles so many times, that it’s more of an annoyance than anything else.”
“Fuck, I couldn’t do that.”, said Ivy. “I fall to pieces with those fucking things.”
“Lucky you aren’t getting this.”, said Kyle, jealously. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, how’s the emotional trauma of the other night going?”
“I’m coping.”, said Ivy. “It hasn’t been as traumatizing to me since I wasn’t in the explosion but it was still scary shit. How the fuck did we get out of that?”
“I keep asking myself the same thing.”, said Denny. “We were a split second from being blown to pieces.”
“I’m never ignoring a gut feeling again. You were right that things didn’t feel right, Denny.”, said Violet
“Therapy’s going to be a bitch to go through. How much longer are we going to be confined to these fucking beds until that starts, not that I’m looking forward to it?”, said Denny.
“I’m sure they’re going to do everything real slow since you have those broken ribs and Violet has the fractured pelvis and it ain’t going to be easy either.”, said Kyle.
“Oh fuck no, now that you mention it. I’ll be all paranoid about puncturing a lung or something.”, said Denny.
“How the fuck am I supposed to walk like this?”, asked Violet.
“I have no idea but you guys ought to worry more about the current task with Kendra.”, said Stan, trying to restore calm.
“What time is it?”, asked Denny, suddenly remembering this.
“It’s almost 9.”, said Kyle, consulting his watch.
“Ok, let’s go over the memories before we head upstairs.”, said Denny.
“You said the purgatory stuff happened first, then you were at home getting ready for school, right?”, asked Ivy.
“Yep, then the last day of third grade. Everyone was jealous that I was going to Vegas. I sprained my ankle from all the walking we did on the strip though.”
“We went to Vegas before too.”, said Kyle. “We were there for new year’s eve 2000.”
“I’ve been told Vegas sucks ass now.”, said Violet
“The memory of the pre-op of that eye surgery came next.”, said Denny, back on track. “Can you imagine a little kid screaming bloody murder, being so scared of what’s coming to them?”
“Fuck no, I couldn’t watch that.”, said Kenny. “At least you didn’t see them cutting your eye open.”
“That would‘ve scarred me for life.”, said Denny.
“How come they had to do surgery on your eye, anyway?”, asked Stan.
“My eye muscle was turning and it was fucking up so they had to go in and straighten it.”, said Denny.
“How old were you when that happened?”, asked Ivy.
“In that memory, I was 7, almost 8. I think I was 3 the first time.”, said Denny.
“You mean you had it done more than once?”, asked Violet.
“Yep and I think next to the memory of the night I left home, watching me screaming like that was the hardest to watch.”
“So, what was the next memory again?”, asked Kyle.
“The one where I was just getting home from school and was doing homework. It was last year and I remember my best friend and I used to call each other when we got home even though we had just seen each other and only lived like a block and a half away.”, said Denny.
“I used to do that.”, said Ivy. “It sucked though, since I’m such a rebel, I got in trouble and had to move around a lot and also we moved a lot because of my dad.”
“Then, there was the last memory. I don’t think we went into much detail about that yesterday since we were too busy explaining the hostage stuff and the stuff that happened before school.”, said Denny.
“That still haunts me.”, said Violet. “Why the fuck would it be up to a 9 year old boy to make a decision about his mom’s fate?”
“Don’t forget now, my dad was power of attorney but he hadn’t seen my mom in 10 years. He felt better that I had a say in that shit since I knew her longest.”
“That’s what I thought.”, said Kyle. “When Mom told me what happened, I had already put two and two together before she even went upstairs.”
“So it’s true that you wound up at Cartman’s house first when you got into town?”, asked Stan.
“That was the first South Park address I found in my mom’s address book the night I left.”, said Denny. “When she dropped the news of the orphanage to me, I was so pissed. We were in a big argument about it when the memory started. It seemed more out of feeling betrayed than a spur of the moment thing, making the decision to leave. I grew more hesitant as I got closer to it but I still felt horrible for doing it.”
“That’s still not right, not even trying to try and get a hold of you dad, in case of shit like that.”, said Violet. “Sorry if it pisses you off that I said that but it’s true.”
“No, you’re right. I kept thinking that while I was locked in my bedroom after that argument. I might’ve thought of leaving right at that moment if I wasn’t so upset and pissed.”, said Denny.
“Well, I don’t blame you for feeling that way.”, said Violet. “If it was me, I probably would’ve been pissed off enough to burn the house down.”
“Same here”, said Ivy, “but my parents wouldn’t do shit like that, I trust that fact.”
“Then why are you such a rebel?”, asked Stan.
“Because it’s who I am, who I was born to be, and always will be. It’s just my lifestyle and nothing to do with living arrangements or problems at home. Why do you think I was a bitch to Tweek last night?”
“That makes 3 rebels then,”, said Denny, “you, me and Violet.”
“Are you sure about that because I haven’t seen that come out yet?”, asked Violet.
“It will, trust me. I just haven’t had a chance to show it yet.”, said Denny. “We all kicked Cartman’s ass good, didn’t we?”
“Psh, anybody could whip that douche bag’s ass but true, we whipped his ass good/. We didn’t fight fair either.”, said Ivy.
“Yeah, I have a feeling nobody will fuck with any of us from now on.”, said Violet.
“Especially not Craig or Clyde.”, chuckled Denny. “They got a big dose of pain.”
Kyle’s watch beeped to signal 10 o’clock and Denny’s attention went straight to the door, waiting for whoever the nurse was to show up.
“Damn dude, are you that edgy about doing this?”, asked Kyle. “I was under the assumption that you were taking it all in stride?”
“Huh? Oh yeah.”, said Denny. “I just want to get this out in the open.”
“Hey, weren’t Mackey and Victoria supposed to come here?”, Stan remembered suddenly.
“I totally forgot about that!”, said Kenny. “They must have forgot about it.”
“Oh dude, I do not want to put up with Mackey’s mannerism after the other day. I was about to scream.”, said Violet.
“Tell me about it.”, said Denny.
“You’ll get used to that eventually.”, said Kyle. “Still, I don’t want to put up with that either.”
“Screw getting used to it, I’ll just avoid it.”, said Violet.
“What’s all this about pulling that fire alarm at your old school?”, Denny remembered suddenly.
“Oh that.”, said Violet, an evil grin spreading across her face. “You should’ve seen the look on the principal’s face when she saw it. I was known for being a badass at that school and everybody knew it but I don’t think the principal thought I had the balls to do that.”
“Define “badass”. What else did you do?””, asked Kyle, mesmerized.
“All kinds of shit. I would ditch class and spray paint cuss words on the walls, go camp out under trees outside, and beat up kids who annoyed me. When I did go to class, I slept all the time, back talked to the teachers, gave sarcastic answers when they asked me shit, and a lot more.”
“God damn,”, said Denny, impressed. “There was this kid in my class that reminded me of Cartman and he got fucked up pretty bad a few times when he pissed me off enough, including when he said something while I was trying to tell a girl I liked her. I fucked him up so bad that his mom had to come pick him up and I was in detention for 2 weeks.”
“Very nice”, said Violet. “How bad did you fuck him up? I mean like, injury-wise?”
“I gave him 2 black eyes, a bloody nose, knocked a couple of teeth out and gave him a concussion. Oh, and his arm was in a sling.”
“God damn, and they didn’t suspend you for that?”, asked Ivy, looking impressed.
“My mom managed to talk the principal out of it even though she had the paper ready to sign right then and there. Connor’s mom was livid. I used to piss off the teachers because I used to be sarcastic and would cuss in front of them and not give a shit. I also used to rebel against any rule I didn’t feel like following.”
“Shit, I’m never underestimating you again.”, said Violet.
“So basically, you’re laid-back until somebody pisses you off, then watch out?”, asked Kyle.
“Yep, that’s right.”, said Denny.
“I’d hate to breakup this conversation but Kendra is ready for you, Denny and Violet.”, said a voice, which turned out to be the nurse, while another one went to get Violet ready to go too.
“We’ll carry on with this convo when you guys get back.”, said Ivy, eagerly.
“Damn, that was fun.”, said Denny, as he and Violet were wheeled out into the hallway.
“Good luck!”, called Kyle.
“You’re not kidding about beating the fuck out of the kid?”, asked Violet, still surprised at what was said, as they boarded the elevator once more.
“I’m 100% dead serious that I did that.”, said Denny, looking straight into Violet’s eyes, non-blinking. “You saw how I reacted with Cartman. I don’t fuck around.”
Out of the elevator on the 5th floor and into the same room as yesterday, Denny and Violet were put into the same position, facing Kendra as she eagerly awaited to begin.
“So, how are you guys feeling after the excitement yesterday?”, she asked.
“I needed to vent a little afterward with Violet and Kyle but other than that, it went smooth.”, said Denny.
“Ok, if you don’t mind me doing so, I’d like to start by going over what we covered yesterday, as a refresher. We first went over what pretty much happened the night the explosion happened and you guys ended up here in the first place. With me so far?”
“We were just talking about what happened at school that day, before all that shit happened.”, said Denny.
“Maybe Cartman was so pissed off at us and allowed that idiot to brainwash him to get back at us?”
“Is there anything you want to mention about that before we move on?”, asked Kendra.
“I think we’re past that, right Denny?”, asked Violet, who nodded confidently.
“Next, we went into Denny’s comatose mind visiting his mom in purgatory and the story behind what led to him arriving in South Park. What extra details do you want to cover with that?”
“We were talking about that about an hour ago. I’m surprised I didn’t burn the house down from being so pissed.”, said Denny.
“I’m sure you only say that to emphasize the anger you felt at the time.”, said Kendra, nodding. “There weren’t any other alternatives considered?”
“Nope”, said Denny. “Going to the orphanage was the best and only thing she could think of. I doubt she even remembered having that address book or maybe it would’ve been different.”
“What did your mom do for a living?”, asked Kendra.
“She tried hiding it from me and it worked for a while but I’m too smart for that shit and eventually I knew something was up. Turns out she was a whore and that’s how she ended up with the AIDS. That had to be tiring if it paid for medical bills and all that other shit. I think that’s why Cartman’s address was in that book.”
“What do you mean by that?”, asked Violet.
“Something didn’t seem right when I got here and only saw Cartman’s mom here, and when I asked for the guy that was in the book, she acted all panicked. I never did get a straight answer about all that.”, said Denny.
“Maybe Kyle knows?”, suggested Violet.
“I hope it isn’t something I’m going to regret hearing.”, said Denny uncertainly.
“What happened when your dad got to the house you were at?”, asked Kendra.
“He seemed more nervous than anything else.”, said Denny, thinking back to the night he arrived in town. “Like I said, he hadn’t seen my mom for 10 years and didn’t even know I existed. I think he was more worried about being thrown out on his ass when my new mom found out about everything. He said something to Cartman’s mom about saving secrets until tomorrow over there probably because I was a wreck that night so he just said he wanted to get me home and settled in.”
“How was Kyle with all this when he found out?”, asked Kendra.
“Like I said, dad was all paranoid about everything and when I asked him what he was going to say to Kyle about everything, he just said he was going to come clean about me to him but then have him keep quiet about it until he told my mom, who he was going to lie about it to. I got to the house. Turns out dad never got to telling mom anything about it until he obviously came clean because while she was fixing me something to eat, dad called Kyle into the other room and told him what was going on. Dad obviously felt he had no choice after that but to tell mom and had her go upstairs with him to do so.”
“What was Kyle’s attitude after he learned of everything?”, asked Kendra.
“I’m sure dad told him to not bug me about any of what was going on so he just started general conversation with me. Once I got done eating, it was time for bed so that was the end of that night.”
“Ok, let’s skip ahead to when that phone call came, what was your mentality after what happened?”, asked Kendra, leaning forward, as Violet took a sharp intake of breath.
“Basically, I had a bad feeling about the whole thing when I got told what was going on after I got home. After dad told me about the whole power of attorney thing and the phone rang, I just knew what was coming. I’ve always had a sharp mind and I just simply knew it. When I got in the kitchen, what I thought was going on, was confirmed. I was more fucking nervous than I’ve ever been in my whole life and the doctor suggesting letting her go just made my whole body numb. When they woke her up before they pulled the plug, I remember just blasting off into the things I felt since leaving home but she said not to worry about it then it was over. I remember just standing there, staring at the phone for like 5 minutes until my knees just gave away and dad barely caught me before I crashed to the floor.”
“Ok, now I want to get into the stuff about being in purgatory. What was that like?”, asked Kendra, getting ready to write stuff down.
“I remember I woke up in this field, which the weather was warmer than South Park and with flowers of every color. I was momentarily distracted by my surroundings but then I started recalling visions of what I remembered before ending up there. It was like a scene from a bad horror movie. We were running for our lives out of the library, Violet was winded so I went after her and next thing I knew, we were thrown back and into the air 20 feet and poof, that was it.
I had started to walk around trying to find civilization and without any idea where to go and after walking for several minutes, I noticed I didn’t feel at all tired. Only then did I realize I wasn’t alone because I saw a tall figure in the distance.”
“That ended up being your mom, right?”, asked Violet. “That place must’ve been interesting to see.”
“The first thing out of my mouth was “am i dreaming?” and she said that was one way to put it and only then did I realize it was her and of course, my suspicions were either whether she was still alive or that I was dead. She explained to me about purgatory being more than just for dead people in denial and I asked her if she saw what happened that morning. She gave me words of encouragement like everyone else has and after one last hug, that was it.”
“Ok, are you ready to move on?”, asked Kendra, with concern.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”, said Denny.
“Now then, you said these memories were of younger days, correct?”
“They seemed to all be from when I was in 3rd grade.”, said Denny. “The first memory, I ended up in the inside of a closet. My former self then opened the door and caused sunlight to hit me right in the face. I got a pretty big shock when a hand passed through me and my former self didn’t even notice anything.”
“What were you doing in this memory?”, asked Kendra.
“Getting ready for school.”, said Denny. ‘I moved out of the closet to get a better look at everything and saw my former self digging around, looking for something and then I heard my mom’s voice calling me, saying I was going to be late for school. I remember saying “shit, I’m gonna miss the bus”, and once downstairs, my former self got a packed lunch from my mom, as she was saying to ignore whatever shit my old enemy did.”
“So there was a bully at your old school?”, asked Kendra.
“Yeah, he may have tried to act the part of the typical schoolyard bully but he failed epically at it. The truth is that he pissed off a lot of kids, including me, and he constantly got his ass whipped. The truth is that I get extremely violent when I get pissed off. He pissed me off so bad one day that the principal was ready to suspend me because I beat him up so bad.”, admitted Denny, having come too close to the subject.
“Really? You don’t seem that type to me?”, said Kendra. “However, not important. What were you doing in the memory at that point?”
“”It was so fucking weird to see my old friends. The teacher was in the middle of a lecture about world war two and my former self was dozing at my desk. We went out to recess and were playing kickball. I remember seeing douche bag get tagged out, threw a fit, and then tried to pick a fight with the other kid.”
“Sounds like Cartman.”, said Violet.
“He was just like him.”, Denny agreed. “If they would’ve met each other, they would’ve been engaged in a heartbeat.”
“I bet Ivy would get a kick out of that.”, said Violet.
“I wouldn’t doubt it.”, said Denny, then he turned back to Kendra. “So, is there anything that could have meaning from that?”
“Well, before we get to that point, let’s outline elements of the memory first. Things like school, childhood, and even lateness can be interpreted.”, said Kendra. “You said the first thing you saw when you arrived in the memory was a younger Denny after you were in a closet. Being in a closet means there’s something in your life you may be keeping hidden and seeing the younger you says that you want to return to older days. Next is the fact that your younger self was running late and that suggests maybe feeling unready or unwilling for change. Maybe you feel overwhelmed with current circumstances, which I don’t doubt is true, given what you’ve been through.”
“God damn, this is far more complicated than I had pictured.”, said Denny. “Maybe that can sum up to being too overwhelmed with what’s going on because I’m not ready to move on because I’m still keeping things hidden with my past, which I kind of miss being in?”
“Holy shit,”, said Violet. “I couldn’t have come up with all that if I tried.”
“Very nice.”, Kendra said, nodding approvingly. “I think we’re off to a great start with this. I think that would be a good way to put it. So now let’s add the other details of this particular memory. Let’s leave the stuff with your mom, etc. for later. Now we have school, bully can be thrown in here too, any other details we haven’t covered?”
“Oh yeah, the scene dissolved to the last day of school and we were talking about summer vacation. My friends were so jealous since we were going to Las Vegas and me and my bff were going to play laser tag too.”, said Denny.
“Ok then, we can also add vacation and friends. So, first of all, we have school, which signifies feelings of inadequacy or childhood insecurities that haven’t been resolved or metaphors of lessons you’re learning in your waking life. I’m sure this will come as no surprise to you but the detail about a bully means suppressed rage.”
“Hey, maybe that’s how you beat that kid up so bad.”, said Violet.
“Now, seeing friends signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected but are ready to acknowledge these aspects again. The relationships you have with friends is important in learning about yourself. Vacation signifies the need to recharge your energies and revitalize yourself.”, Kendra continued.
“Let’s see, I think the thing about the lessons I’m learning in life are that I should never take anything for granted, no matter what it is, because it can all just as easily be taken away in a heartbeat, the suppressed rage part only comes out when I get really pissed off, and I think the revitalization stuff is what’s taking place right here.”, said Denny.
“You’re a pretty damn smart kid, Denny. I would’ve never expected to hear such deep thoughts coming from a 9 year old boy. Even Violet is at a loss of what to say.”, said Kendra, looking at Violet who, sure enough, was watching Denny with awe.
“So, moving on, where are we at now?”, asked Kendra.
“The next memory was hard to watch.”, said Denny, remembering seeing his old self in such a state of panic. “My dream state had appeared right next to my former self, in a hospital bed, where I looked paranoid, covering my face with a teddy bear and staring at a pair of double doors. I knew it had to be in a surgical unit and the doctor came out to talk to my mom. He looked at me a few times and came over to me holding chapstick, then he asked me which one I wanted. I looked at my mom and then picked the cherry kind, so he pulled out an anesthetic mask and smeared it with the chapstick and now I knew what was going to happen and I started screaming at the top of my lungs. I just wanted to reach out an comfort the poor kid and apparently, my mom thought along the same lines because she tried and failed to do so, and now the doctor has no choice but to bring me to the OR like that. I was taken back there and it was shocking to hear the screaming and looking like being knocked out with an invisible hammer a minute later.”
“Do you know what kind of surgery it was?”, asked Kendra.
“It was an eye surgery.”, said Denny. “I actually saw them getting ready for it but the memory ended before they could cut into my eyeball. They only got as far as pulling the eyelids back and taping them It was kind of freaky seeing that.”
“Ok, a lot can be interpreted here such as surgery, anesthesia, hospital, eyes, and fear. First and foremost is the feeling of fear, which means your achievements won’t be as successful as you anticipate. Surgery means the need for emotional healing, needing to “cut out” or eliminate something from your life. Hospital signifies the need to improve physical or mental health, (which you’re doing now, while you’re in the hospital obviously). The detail about anesthetic means you’re trying to suppress feelings instead of confronting them, and again, that’s what you’re here for.”
“Let’s see, I have no idea what achievements won’t go right, and I think the other stuff can all go together as the healing process being in the hospital.”, said Denny.
“Seeing that memory would’ve torn me to pieces, especially seeing that poor kid so scared.”, said Violet, shaking her head.
“I don’t blame you.”, said Kendra. “It’s always harder when it’s a child. That’s just too young for something like that. Are we ready to move on?”
“I don’t think this next memory will be much different than the others.”, said Denny. “I was in my old room when the memory started, just as my younger self was getting home from school. It was the same old routine, let the dogs out, call my mom to tell her I was home, then do my homework. My bff called when I got done and we talked for a few minutes, then I watched tv until my mom got home and that was it.”
“The only new detail here would be homework, which symbolizes lessons learned in life or are learning. It’s important to pay attention to what the assignment involves and see how it can applied to your waking life.”, said Kendra.
“It was just old third grade stuff so I don’t know how to apply that to anything.”, said Denny.
“I’m sure it’ll come to you.”, said Kendra.
“Now comes the last memory, which is the night I left home.”, said Denny.
He took a deep breath and began to recite the difficult night that had been.
“It started with an uproar, most likely my mom had just told my younger self the news about the orphanage. I kept demanding why we couldn’t figure out where my dad was and I could just live with him but she kept saying she didn’t know if he was still in the same place or if he even would take me in. She said I’d be better off at an orphanage, so at least she would know I’d be in good hands but I kept arguing, saying those places suck and questioning doesn’t she think I want to at least know I HAVE a dad. She started to get annoyed and even though she didn’t show it, I could tell. She would like things to go as I want but that seemed unlikely, so I got so pissed and turned around and slammed and locked my bedroom door. She stood there for a minute and then went to her room where she finally broke down. Watching this in my dream state self made me feel awful about that whole thing.
So two hours goes by and the house is dark and quiet. I came out of my room and went to the junk drawer in the kitchen for my mom’s address book, where I looked and found the first South Park address I could. I seemed to make up my mind at that point and went back to my room and filled my backpack with clothes, etc., went back to the kitchen and scribbled a note to my mom, and headed out the door. I took one last look at the house and might’ve thought of going back but then turned and was gone.”
“This is the big one, isn’t it? I can see that right away.”, said Kendra. “There’s a lot to cover here. First of all, I can imagine you were feeling a lot of mixed emotions like sadness, betrayal, anger, guilt, regret,, that sound right?”
“Yeah, I try to not let it get to me but it still haunts me. I think the mixed emotions are what dominated the memory.”, said Denny.
“One person can’t feel all that shit at once, they’d explode!”, exclaimed Violet, wide-eyed.
“Trust me, that’s exactly how I felt.”, said Denny. “I think I can piece that all together. I was sad because of my mom being so close to death, I felt angry and betrayed by the whole idea of landing in an orphanage, guilty about leaving at a time like that, and regret for doing it.”
“Very wise.”, said Kendra. “Now, since you feel no need to interpret your feelings at that time, what else do you feel is important to cover in this memory?”
“Do you think revisiting this memory was for a reason like my mind wanting me to feel haunted by what went on or just something that I revisited because it was a huge turning point?”, asked Denny.
“That’s hard to say. I think it can be conquered if it’s a fear, by confronting it head-on. Remember, this has all happened in your short life but you’ve been handling it better than I would think most would.”. said Kendra.
“So maybe it’s a reminder of how far I’ve come and all that I’ve seen?”, thought Denny out loud.
“Could be.”, said Kendra.
“That’s a hell of a thing to drag with you your whole life.”, said Violet.
“I think we will wrap it up for today. You’ve had enough.”, said Kendra, standing up.
The nurses stood up and headed back to the beds as Kendra shook hands with Denny and Violet and headed out the door. Denny was thinking about what they’d covered. He was able to put what Kendra had said about the details of the memories and have at least some success in putting that into context.
“Doesn’t all that shit give you a headache?”, asked Violet, as they were wheeled back out into the hallway. “Not to piss you off or anything off of course.”
“It does but it doesn’t.”, said Denny. “I’m sure it would give you a headache but it’s interesting to look at it from this angle.”
Back inside the elevator and down to the 3rd floor once again, they arrived back to the ICU. Denny felt better about the events of the last few days. It shook him as it always did when he remembered the day he beat up Connor. He had been hoping more than anything that he could charm the 5th grader but then Connor had come and let something inappropriate slip and he embarrassed himself, which then they shot him down. He felt himself getting hotter by the second and he let out a yell and threw himself at his enemy.
The others looked up from whatever they were talking about when Denny and Violet arrived. It seemed there was a more positive air about the room.
“Hey guys, how’d it go?”, asked Kyle.
“Pretty much what I thought it was going to do. It’s a lot of shit to think about.”, said Denny.
“Sorry”, said Kyle.
“Oh shit, I forgot about the tap. Fuck.”, said Denny.
“Is that a bad thing?”, asked Stan.
“Fuck, haven’t you ever seen one of those?”, asked Denny. “That’s where they stick this long fucking needle into your back to collect fluid. I’ve seen it on House before.”
“Holy shit.”, said Violet, looking horrified. “How can somebody go through that?”.
“Hey Kyle, I almost forgot, there’s something I wanted to ask you about.”, said Denny. “I want you to be straight about this. The night I got here, I first noticed something didn’t seem right. When I took that page out of my mom’s address book back home, the name in it was Liam Cartman but when I got here, there was only his mom there and I never saw anybody else there…”
“Uh oh, this isn’t going to turn out well.”, said Stan, feeling tense.
“Anyway”, continued Denny, as though there had been no interruption, “My mom always liked to keep secrets from me but I’m too smart for that, do you know what the fuck is up with the whole deal with Cartman’s mom?”
“Uh, trust me, dude, you’re better off not knowing. It will give you nightmares if you knew the truth about Cartman’s mom.”, said Kenny, shaking his head.
“He’s right, dude. You don’t want to know.”, said Stan.
“Something tells me, I’ll get nightmares if I hear this.”, sad Violet, uncertainly.
“My guess would be yes.”, said Ivy, feeling ominous. “I’ve heard rumors and none of it would surprise me.”
“Another thing too. When I mentioned who I am, she got all tense, AND I never got a straight answer from her about that.”
‘’This just keeps getting more uncomfortable by the minute. Dude, I really don’t think you want to hear this.”, said Stan.
“Kyle! Spit it out!”, snapped Denny, causing Kyle to jump badly. He had been silent up to that point and still was silent long before he answered.
“It started when Cartman began to become obsessive over finding out who his dad was. He was ditching school and playing with dolls in his backyard. We went to Mackey, who had us tape Cartman’s behavior. We wound up…”
“Just get to the point!”, snapped Denny, again.
“Cartman found out he could do DNA testing to find out who his dad was but before he could… never mind, when was all said and done, the test showed that the father of Cartman was… Liane Cartman.”
Kyle looked at Denny, who seemed all right. Apparently the message hadn’t sunk in.
“Ok, what the fuck does that mean and what does it have to do with my mom?”, asked Denny.
“Liane Cartman is a hermaphadite, meaning she has both male and female genitals.”, continued Kyle, bracing himself for the reaction.
“And what does that have to…? Oh my fucking god, are you fucking serious?!”, said Denny, putting two and two together. “But wait, the name on the entry was Liam?”
“Liam is the masculine form of Liane.”, said Stan, regretfully.
“Ok, let me see if I got this straight,”, said Denny, slowly, “You’re telling me that Liane Cartman is a hermaphadite, meaning “Liam” is the same person and my mom having been a prostitute and had “Liam” in her address book can only have one explanation?”
“Jesus christ, you’re not serious about this?!”, exclaimed Violet.
“That’s pretty much it.”, said Kyle. “That’s why I didn’t want to say anything. When you mentioned that stuff about your mom having been a prostitute, then you ending up at Cartman’s house when you got to town, looking for “Liam”, everything clicked into place. I knew it wouldn’t be something I wanted to mention.”
“Oh my fucking god, are you sure you’re not bull shitting me about this?”, asked Denny, beginning to feel very numb.
Kyle looked at him sadly. Denny was acting exactly as Kyle had feared he would. Violet was just sitting there, mouth wide open.
“Dude, I’m sorry. This is why I didn’t want to say anything. When I figured everything out, it was the most shocking thing I could’ve possibly imagined. I didn’t want you to have to get hit with something like this.”
“So then, it’s true?”, asked Denny, weakly.
“I’m afraid it is.”, said Kyle, sadly. “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now but please don’t hate your mom for this. She probably didn’t know at the time either.”
Denny could only sit there in total shock. Violet had a hold of his hand and squeezed it gently while the others looked on, too nervous about his reaction and that this might only be the mild part of it. Kyle felt horrible for having touched such a delicate subject. It had taken a lot of nerve to do it, even though he knew it was nothing compared to the emotional agony his brother was feeling at having been told where his suspicions had led him.
“Jesus christ, this is unbelievable.”, said Denny, in a hushed voice. “How the fuck could she have not known…? What was she thinking?!”
“She had to be really drunk not to tell the difference.”, said Violet. “Either that or “Liam” appeared more masculine at the time.”
“But how…? How could this happen?!”, stuttered Denny. “Is God punishing me for something?”
“Of course not.”, said Kyle. “You said your mom had to be really active of a whore if it paid for all your medical bills.”
“That’s even worse, how many other hermaphadites did she come across in that time? I’m 9 years old, dude, I’m too fucking young to be learning about that shit.”
A nurse came into the room at that moment and spotted Denny, which she then made straight for him.
“Denny? Are you ready to head downstairs for the spinal tap?”, she asked.
“Oh goddamnit, this is the last thing I’m worried about right now. You can’t imagine what I just found out.”, said Denny.
“Just go, dude.”, said Kenny, “That might take your mind off of that unwelcome news.”
“Alright fine, let’s get this over with.“
Denny allowed the nurse to undo the brakes to the bed and begin wheel him out of the room, not really caring about much else but “Mom, what the fuck?”.
“Good luck, dude!”, called Kyle, trying but failing to sound like he wasn’t thinking about just how fucked up the stuff between Christy and Liane sounded.
“Holy shit, this is really true? No bullshit?”, asked Violet, still at a loss for words.
“Yep, every word.”, said Kyle, sadly. “This is going to take a while to sink in.”
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Yes, it would. Out in the hallway and into the elevator, Denny was wrestling with the thought of his mom but at the same time, scolding himself for becoming so obsessive about it. His paralyzed mind came crashing back to earth as they got closer to wherever they were going.
“Uh, how exactly is this going to work?”, asked Denny, hoping he didn’t sound offhand.
“I’m sure you must be feeling scared right now.”, said the nurse, still looking straight ahead, so as to not run into anything. “Once we get downstairs, they will be able to explain the procedure to you. I’m sorry that I’m not of any help.”
“Where are we going? Oh shit, not the OR?”, exclaimed Denny, definitely scared now.
“Not the OR, no.”, replied the nurse. “We’re going to radiology and interventional CT since there’s a little bit to do before the tap is done. The doctor will let you know of the results later.”
They turned left down a hallway and through a door labeled “radiology”. Denny was wheeled into a room that looked similar to a regular x-ray room except there was a little metal table that was covered. They found the technician and nurse waiting for them as the other nurse moved the bed next to the x-ray table.
“How am I supposed to get on the table?”, asked Denny, trying his best to hide the shakiness he felt.
“Don’t worry about that.”, said the nurse, kindly. “We’ll take care of everything. You just lay back and relax and we’ll get you set up.”
The tech was busy adjusting the table as the nurses were setting up an iv pole to set up all the bags and monitor. The tech looked satisfied with the adjustments and motioned for the nurses to move the bed so that it was up against the table, got on the head and foot sides of the bed and lifted Denny onto the table, taking great care to be very wary of the broken ribs.
“Ok Denny, here’s the plan, what we’re going to be doing here is called a spinal tap. This is not going to be a fun experience but it’s a necessary thing. First things first, we’re going to do a CT of the spinal column and pinpoint exactly where we do the tap at, we mark that place, sterilize the area, stick the needle in, and collect the CSF to be tested. When the doctor is doing the tap, we need you be a in a fetal position (like being curled in a ball), that’s important.”
“How bad is this going to hurt, assuming I get no numbing?”, asked Denny.
“That will be a question for the doctor. I help out on a lot of spinal taps but I don’t know every detail of the pre-op stuff.”, said the tech.
“I guess that does mean it’s gonna hurt then.”, thought Denny, as the table was positioned to get ready for the CT.
“This will only take about a minute.”, said the tech. “After this, we will be able to mark and sterilize the area like I said. The doctor should be here momentarily but just try to relax. We will start the scan right now.”
He finished adjusting the table and went back to the control room where meanwhile, the table moved completely toward the inside of the scanner, coming to rest around Denny’s chest cavity. This was the easy part and when all was done the tech came back out, this time accompanied by the doctor, who had a surgical mask tied around his neck but not yet covering his mouth.
“Hello Denny, I’m Dr. Bailey and I’ll be performing the spinal tap. While I stick the needle in, it’s very important to stay as still as you can. It will hurt but you have to stay calm. Dr. Webber ordered this test to check the CSF for anything out of the ordinary and I urge you to trust his judgment . So then, let’s get started.”
“Ok Denny, I’m going to give you a little Valium so you don’t get too stressed out while this is being done.”, said the nurse who brought him in, as she injected the Valium into his IV.
The other nurse began to uncover the stuff on the table which ended up being gloves, sterilizer, gauze, a small vial, and a pretty long ass needle, evidently what was going to be stuck into Denny’s back. This made him start to feel tense. The doctor began to putting on the gloves as the nurse had Denny positioned carefully on his side and having him curl up into a ball with his spine exposed. As his gloves were put on, the doctor pulled up Denny’s gown and grabbed the sterilizer. As professional as he was, Denny could hear the sharp intake of breath as the doctor evidently saw the dressings covering Denny’s midsection.
“I’m going to apply the sterilizer now. This is probably going to be a little cold.”, said the doctor as he did so.
Denny jumped a bit as this was going on. Next was going to be the hard part.
“Ok, now we are at the difficult part. Remember what I said about staying as still as possible and also staying calm. This will all be over soon.”
“Calm?! How the fuck am I supposed to stay calm with this shit?!”, thought Denny, but did as he was told and did his best to keep calm. Just like Violet had done that morning when they were all having blood tests done, Denny shut his eyes tight and gritted his teeth.
The doctor picked up the needle and found the area to stick it and looked at over at Denny’s face with concern.
“Ok, get ready. Nurse, be ready for the vial. On the count of three, then. One, two, three. Here we go.”
There was a sharp pinch as the needle went into the top-middle part of Denny’s back. He couldn’t hold back the cry of pain yet didn’t move a muscle. On the other side, the doctor had the needle positioned where he wanted it and grabbed the vial. From here, he was able to collect some CSF fluid, capped the vial, grabbed the gauze, and withdrew the needle, placing the gauze over the bleeding area before taping it.
“That’s it, we’re all done.”, said the doctor, discarding the needle. “How are you feeling right now?”
“I think I’m alright.”, said Denny, opening his eyes and relaxing. “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. It looked even worse on House.”
“I take it that’s not the first thing you’ve had done that you’ve seen on there either?”, asked the doctor.
“No it’s not. There’s been a couple things and even stuff I’ve seen on older shows.”, said Denny.
The nurses got back on either side of the table, after positioning the bed back next to it, and lifted Denny back to the bed.
“Ok Denny, the post-op stuff is easy enough. I want you to take it easy for the rest of the day and try not to move around much. Stay put with your back pressed against your pillow. The results should be ready by six or so. It was nice to meet you.”
As the doctor walked to the back again, the nurses undid the brakes on the bed and began to wheel him back into the hallway. Now that it was over with, it was a huge load off Denny’s chest. The look of relief on his face was the last thing anyone expected to see when he got back upstairs. He had not forgotten what he had been told before he left but decided not to let it get to him at the moment.
“How’d it go?”, asked Kyle, brightening up when Denny had made it back to the room.
“To be honest, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.”, said Denny. “It looked much worse on House, you should’ve seen it.”
“I think I’ll pass.”, said Kyle, shuddering at the thought. The others muttered in agreement.
“Oh come on now.”, said Denny. “It may be a lot worse going through it but it isn’t like it’s going to scar you to watch it on tv. Maybe surgery.”
“What time is the doctor supposed to be in?”, asked Kenny, deliberately changing the subject, though probably for the others’ sake and not his own.
“I guess the results of the tap will be ready by six but that’s the only thing I have to go by.”, said Denny.
“Why don’t you take a nap while you’re waiting?”, suggested Violet.
“You know, that might not be a bad idea. It’s already been a long day and that doctor told me to take it easy after the tap.”, said Denny.
“Go ahead then. We’ll wake you up when the doctor comes in if you’re not up by then.”, said Stan.
So Denny carefully turned over and closed his eyes, knocking out almost instantly.
“How far away from six is it?”, asked Violet,, seeing Denny pass out and feeling bad for him.
Kyle pressed a button on the side of his phone and looked at it. “It’s about 3 right now so that should be enough of a nap.”
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Maybe it was because he had once again revisited the memories that were seen during the coma or maybe it was just his physically and mentally exhausted body letting it’s guard down, but as Denny slipped into his dream state like someone given knockout pills, the nightmares began. He had found himself next to the others in the heart of the underground chamber underneath the town square, and there, again, was Kyle trying to get Cartman to rationalize his hellbent desire to assist in the final phase in blowing up everything above and around the entire area within the chamber,
“Oh christ, you can’t be serious. I can’t relive this again.”, he thought.
“Come on! Let’s get the fuck out of here!”, Kyle had shouted and then the six of them were off, hauling ass back through the passageway leading from the library basement, through there, into the library itself, and back outside.
“Wake up, goddamnit! Wake up!”, his subconscious mind was screaming at him. “Somebody wake me up or make a loud noise or something, for Christ’s sake!”
There was only the scream of horror that he, himself, had made. As if in slow motion, Denny could only watch helplessly as he recklessly tore after his girlfriend, momentarily winded and thus unaware that she was in danger. There wasn’t enough time, he knew that even now, but he was damned if he was going to see Violet or any of his friends in danger and not put himself in the face of it to get them out. 3,2,1, BOOM. It was even worse seeing the blast from the sidelines, even if it was just a dream. He and Violet had both been blasted backward into the air with the force of the blast and landed with a sickening crunch on the ground, some 20 feet away. Violet had began to come around after a few seconds, sobbing and hurt, as the others were running to the scene. As more of the dust cleared, Denny could make himself out and felt his stomach tighten. There was his limp figure lying 10 feet from where Violet was and there was not one single sign of life present; Violet’s scream was shrill and petrified in the cold night air and Denny felt himself jerk back into consciousness, screaming at the top of his lungs, and scaring the shit out of everybody.
“Jesus christ!”, yelled Kyle, having jumped badly at the sound. “Dude, what happened?”
“Oh my god, I never want that to happen again.”, moaned Denny, holding his hand over his chest and hyperventilating.
“Did you have a nightmare or what?”, asked Violet, shaken up as well.
A nurse came running into the room, looking alarmed. Denny became aware that he was trembling and all eyes were fixed on him.
“What’s going on?”, asked the nurse. “Is there something wrong?”
“I had a really bad nightmare and now I think I’ve slept all I can.”, said Denny.
“What happened in it?”, asked Stan.
“I think you already know what it was about.”, said Denny, grimly. “The worst night of our lives, of course.”
“Did you want me to get anything to calm you down?”, asked the nurse, wanting the kids to know she was still there.
“No, I’m fine.”, said Denny. “I’ll be good to go.” She then headed back to the hall.
“Are you sure you’re ok?”, asked Kyle.
“Yes, dude.”, said Denny. “How long have I been asleep?”
“About half an hour.”, said Violet. “There’s still about 2 hours left until six.”
“I think I’m going to try again.”, said Denny. “I thought I wouldn’t but I’m so tired.”
“Go ahead. We’ll wake you up when it’s time.”, said Ivy.
This time, sleep washed over him without incident.
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They woke him up at ten to six. Denny’s head felt a million times better than when he first laid down to sleep. Still, he stayed put, on his back, and a little sore from the spinal tap.
“How’d you sleep this time?”, asked Kyle, expecting Denny to still be shaken up from his nightmare earlier.
“That was much better than earlier. Whatever caused that shit from earlier to pop up, it seems to have gone.”, said Denny.
“That’s a good thing. Are you still sore from earlier?”, asked Violet.
Denny considered this for a second then went with the truth. “Yeah, kind of.”, he said. “I didn’t expect anything different.”
The doctor walked into the room at six on the nose just as the parents got there, clipboard in hand and as usual, had the same unreadable expression.
“So, I have some good news today but that being said, we have to plan out how this is all going to work.”
Denny’s heart jumped. He wanted more than anything else to get out of this damn hospital already. “Does that mean what I think it does?”, he asked, slowly.
“The spinal tap came back negative, so that means nothing wrong on the hydro side. As far as everything else is considered, we’re making swift and significant progress. I think we can start off slowly with mobility and start getting you ready to get out of here, how does that sound?”
“Are you serious?”, asked Denny, voice cracking from excitement, “Fucking puberty”, he thought.
The doctor nodded. “This is going to take time to get used to but let’s give it maybe 2 weeks and I say we can get you ready to go. We’ll send you off with a wheelchair but remember that it’s still very important to be wary that your broken bones are still going to take time to heal, same with Violet. We are going to start to get you two accustomed to the wheelchair tomorrow and go from there.
“Kyle, we are going to keep for one more night just for observation and we’ll discharge you tomorrow morning, same with the others. Any questions for me?”
“When is the therapy going to start?”, asked Denny.
“We’ll give it about a month and we’ll get everything set up with school, etc. when we get you guys ready to be discharged. Anything else? Ok, well, get some rest and we’ll see you all later.”, said the doctor, as he took his leave.
An air of excitement began to overtake the whole of room 13 at what was just said. It was true, not one of the six survivors wanted anymore to do with this goddamned place, so not one of them was pleased about being told of having to be there another second. Kyle, indeed, was bouncing up and down in excitement, looking like a kid about to piss himself, then seeing Denny and realizing what he was doing to his brother, abruptly stopped and muttered, “Sorry”.
“Come on Big D, you’re not going to let something like that get in the way of anything, are you?”
“Not me, Boss”
“’Atta boy. Go kick some ass.”
“Ok, Boss”
“Hey, at least we’ll have each other, right?”, said a voice from nearby. Denny jerked out of his trance and realized his girlfriend was talking to him.
“Huh, what? Sorry, ears are buzzing, what was that?”
“I said, at least we’ll have each other, right? ”recited Violet.
“Oh, uh, yeah, and uh, no school, right?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s true.”, said Violet.
“Whew, nice catch Big D.”, he thought.
As was true last night, dinner was ordered and there within a half hour. There was little left to do at this point but shut off the lights and crowd around the “big “screen tv until one by one, everybody either went off to their respective rooms or curled up in their beds and went off to sleep.
Their first human contact with the outside world since school the morning of that fateful day, was imminent but it would pushed through like anything else.
*End of chapter 14*
Denny woke up the next morning, feeling stronger than the previous day. He looked over and noticed the nurse was busy injecting medication into his iv.
“What’s that for?”, he whispered curiously.
“Morphine to keep you comfortable.”, the nurse whispered back. “Do you remember anything from when you were on the Dilaudid?”
“Some stuff. Didn’t I freak out a couple times?”
“Your friends said you got upset when everybody was here. You were having another emotional breakdown. Dilaudid can sometimes do that so be glad the doctor put you back on Morphine. Did it work last night?”, asked the nurse.
“It seems to work all right.”, said Denny. “Now that I felt a rush with the Dilaudid, there isn’t one on the Morphine anymore.”
“That’s not unusual.”, said the nurse. “Since the Dilaudid is stronger than the Morphine, it has the stronger effect and switching to the weaker one, you’re already used to the other one.”
“That makes sense.”, said Denny.
Violet began to stir. Denny turned to look at her. She looked much better than yesterday, even having just woke up. Denny also looked over at Kyle, still hooked up to all the iv fluids. Kyle was still pretty out of it. Violet turned over and looked at Denny.
“What’s up, there?”, asked Denny, looking at her.
“Oh hey Denny, how’d you sleep?”, asked Violet, sleepily.
“Pretty good, actually.”, said Denny. “How about you? Did the medicine help?”
“I feel better than I did when I got up yesterday, so yes.”, said Violet.
“I can give you more tonight if you want?”, suggested the nurse.
“It mellows me out so that’s not a bad idea.”, said Violet.
“That would be the Valium, the sleep medicine just helps you sleep.”, said the nurse.
“All the same, that stuff works good.”, said Violet.
“Remember, I can give you Valium in the morning too but I can only give it to you every 8 hours, so keep that in mind.”, said the nurse.
“What about Morphine, if I need it?”, asked Denny.
“That’s every 6 hours.”, said the nurse. “I just gave you some and it’s 8:00, so if needed, I can give you more at 2:00.”, said the nurse.
“Did they get the MRI scheduled yet?”, asked Denny.
“They’re going to do that at noon.”, said the nurse. “I was told you and Violet will be meeting with Kendra at 10.”
“Sweet, I was hoping to go there earlier.”, said Denny.
“At least the hard part is out of the way.”, said Violet.
“That and I’m off the Dilaudid, so I won’t freak out.”, said Denny.
“Come on now, even Dilaudid or not, all that shit is enough for anybody to have a similar reaction.”, said Violet.
“Whatever, I’m focusing on the next step now so that’s behind me.”, said Denny.
Kyle began to stir, wincing a little bit, no doubt due to the uncomfortable iv. He also looked better than yesterday, despite being hooked to the iv, pumping fluid.
“Hey there Kyle, how do you feel?”, asked Denny.
“Hey Denny.”, said Kyle, sleepily. “My head feels better than yesterday. That saved my life, that hunch you had..”
“Anytime, bro.”, said Denny.
A lady dressed in a white lab coat walked into the room, carrying a toolbox.
“Hey everybody, it’s time for a blood test.”, she said.
“Great, I hate needles.”, said Violet.
“I know a lot of people do.”, said the phlebotomist. “Who would like to go first?”, she asked, taking materials out of the toolbox.
“I’ll do it.”, said Denny. “Unless anybody just wants to get it over with?”
“I must be out of my mind but I think I’ll just suck it up and get it over with but I want you to hold my hand, Denny.”, said Violet.
“It’s always best to just do it and get it out of the way.”, said the phlebotomist, nodding. “It’ll be quick and we’ll be done then the next person can go.”
She put the stem of the needle on the tubing and prepped an alcohol swab before getting out the tourniquet and wrapping it around Violet’s arm. Violet grabbed Denny’s hand and looked away. The phlebotomist began to feel around for a vein, grabbed the alcohol swab and rubbed it over the area. She took the cover off the needle and prepped the vaccutainer tube.
“Ok, here it comes.”, warned the phlebotomist, sticking the needle in. Violet shut her eyes tight and squeezed Denny’s hand tightly.
As sudden as it started, it was over. The phlebotomist took out the needle and put gauze and tape over the area. As she stuck the tainted needle into the sharps container, she turned back to Denny and Kyle. Denny looked at Kyle, who didn’t look too eager to be stabbed.
“Do you want me to go first, Kyle?”, asked Denny.
“I… I think I’ll get it over with too.”, said Kyle, still not looking eager to be stabbed but looking determined. The phlebotomist once again connected the stem of the needle to the tubing, prepped the alcohol swab and vaccutainer tube, found the vein, and took the cover off the needle.
“Ok, here I come.”, said the phlebotomist. Kyle took the needle a little better than Violet, only slightly wincing at the pinch. Just like the first time, she pulled the needle out, taped the wound, and stuck the needle into the sharps container.
“That just leaves Denny left.”, said the phlebotomist, turning to him. Denny looked right back, nodding. When the needle went in, Denny held his breath but didn’t make a sound. When the phlebotomist turned back to the group, she gave them little papers.
“Well done everyone. You’ll need to keep the tape on for about 20 minutes. I also gave you a little paper with instructions for post-care.”, said the phlebotomist, picking up her toolbox and heading out of the room.
:“Fuck, I don’t want to keep doing that shit.”, said Violet.
“You’ll get used to it. It’s a bitch at first but then it’s more of an annoyance than a fear.”, said Denny.
Stan, Kenny, and Ivy came into the room, iv poles in tow. Ivy looked hesitant to see Kyle’s condition but then relaxed when she saw him sitting up. Stan looked ready run into Kyle’s arms.
“Kyle! I’ve been so worried about you!”, he exclaimed.
“I feel so much better seeing you all right!”, said Ivy, going to his side and kissing him. Denny saw Stan roll his eyes, annoyed.
“You ok there, Stan?”, asked Denny.
“Huh? Yeah, everything’s fine.”, said Stan, pretending he hadn’t done anything.
“How’s that Morphine working?”, asked Kenny to Denny.
“It seems to be working fine.”, said Denny. “I’m still kind of having withdrawal from the Dilaudid.”
“It works pretty good for me.”, said Violet. “How come I still get a rush from it?”
“Because I was on the Dilaudid and that’s stronger . You’ve never been on it so Morphine will be the one to give you the rush.”, said Denny.
“What do you think Kendra’s going to say today?” asked Violet.
“Well, the hard part is out of the way but that doesn’t mean she won’t still touch base with it.”, said Denny. “I think we’ll go more into detail with the dreams today.”
“I’m glad the hard part is over. That would’ve put me in a loony bin if I had all that shit to deal with.”, said Violet.
“I get told that so many times.”, said Denny. “I see their point too.”
“That needle fucking hurt.”, said Violet.
“I’m sure it did but like I said, you’ll get used to it.”, said Denny.
“How’d you take it, Kyle?”, asked Ivy.
“He was kind of nervous at first but did reasonably well.”, said Denny.
“It hurt me too but I have to poke myself because of my diabetes, so I’m somewhat used to it.”, said Kyle.
“I understand that.”, said Denny. “It’s like the Arizona heat, you put up with it for a long time but you never get used to it. I’ve had to be poked by needles so many times, that it’s more of an annoyance than anything else.”
“Fuck, I couldn’t do that.”, said Ivy. “I fall to pieces with those fucking things.”
“Lucky you aren’t getting this.”, said Kyle, jealously. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, how’s the emotional trauma of the other night going?”
“I’m coping.”, said Ivy. “It hasn’t been as traumatizing to me since I wasn’t in the explosion but it was still scary shit. How the fuck did we get out of that?”
“I keep asking myself the same thing.”, said Denny. “We were a split second from being blown to pieces.”
“I’m never ignoring a gut feeling again. You were right that things didn’t feel right, Denny.”, said Violet
“Therapy’s going to be a bitch to go through. How much longer are we going to be confined to these fucking beds until that starts, not that I’m looking forward to it?”, said Denny.
“I’m sure they’re going to do everything real slow since you have those broken ribs and Violet has the fractured pelvis and it ain’t going to be easy either.”, said Kyle.
“Oh fuck no, now that you mention it. I’ll be all paranoid about puncturing a lung or something.”, said Denny.
“How the fuck am I supposed to walk like this?”, asked Violet.
“I have no idea but you guys ought to worry more about the current task with Kendra.”, said Stan, trying to restore calm.
“What time is it?”, asked Denny, suddenly remembering this.
“It’s almost 9.”, said Kyle, consulting his watch.
“Ok, let’s go over the memories before we head upstairs.”, said Denny.
“You said the purgatory stuff happened first, then you were at home getting ready for school, right?”, asked Ivy.
“Yep, then the last day of third grade. Everyone was jealous that I was going to Vegas. I sprained my ankle from all the walking we did on the strip though.”
“We went to Vegas before too.”, said Kyle. “We were there for new year’s eve 2000.”
“I’ve been told Vegas sucks ass now.”, said Violet
“The memory of the pre-op of that eye surgery came next.”, said Denny, back on track. “Can you imagine a little kid screaming bloody murder, being so scared of what’s coming to them?”
“Fuck no, I couldn’t watch that.”, said Kenny. “At least you didn’t see them cutting your eye open.”
“That would‘ve scarred me for life.”, said Denny.
“How come they had to do surgery on your eye, anyway?”, asked Stan.
“My eye muscle was turning and it was fucking up so they had to go in and straighten it.”, said Denny.
“How old were you when that happened?”, asked Ivy.
“In that memory, I was 7, almost 8. I think I was 3 the first time.”, said Denny.
“You mean you had it done more than once?”, asked Violet.
“Yep and I think next to the memory of the night I left home, watching me screaming like that was the hardest to watch.”
“So, what was the next memory again?”, asked Kyle.
“The one where I was just getting home from school and was doing homework. It was last year and I remember my best friend and I used to call each other when we got home even though we had just seen each other and only lived like a block and a half away.”, said Denny.
“I used to do that.”, said Ivy. “It sucked though, since I’m such a rebel, I got in trouble and had to move around a lot and also we moved a lot because of my dad.”
“Then, there was the last memory. I don’t think we went into much detail about that yesterday since we were too busy explaining the hostage stuff and the stuff that happened before school.”, said Denny.
“That still haunts me.”, said Violet. “Why the fuck would it be up to a 9 year old boy to make a decision about his mom’s fate?”
“Don’t forget now, my dad was power of attorney but he hadn’t seen my mom in 10 years. He felt better that I had a say in that shit since I knew her longest.”
“That’s what I thought.”, said Kyle. “When Mom told me what happened, I had already put two and two together before she even went upstairs.”
“So it’s true that you wound up at Cartman’s house first when you got into town?”, asked Stan.
“That was the first South Park address I found in my mom’s address book the night I left.”, said Denny. “When she dropped the news of the orphanage to me, I was so pissed. We were in a big argument about it when the memory started. It seemed more out of feeling betrayed than a spur of the moment thing, making the decision to leave. I grew more hesitant as I got closer to it but I still felt horrible for doing it.”
“That’s still not right, not even trying to try and get a hold of you dad, in case of shit like that.”, said Violet. “Sorry if it pisses you off that I said that but it’s true.”
“No, you’re right. I kept thinking that while I was locked in my bedroom after that argument. I might’ve thought of leaving right at that moment if I wasn’t so upset and pissed.”, said Denny.
“Well, I don’t blame you for feeling that way.”, said Violet. “If it was me, I probably would’ve been pissed off enough to burn the house down.”
“Same here”, said Ivy, “but my parents wouldn’t do shit like that, I trust that fact.”
“Then why are you such a rebel?”, asked Stan.
“Because it’s who I am, who I was born to be, and always will be. It’s just my lifestyle and nothing to do with living arrangements or problems at home. Why do you think I was a bitch to Tweek last night?”
“That makes 3 rebels then,”, said Denny, “you, me and Violet.”
“Are you sure about that because I haven’t seen that come out yet?”, asked Violet.
“It will, trust me. I just haven’t had a chance to show it yet.”, said Denny. “We all kicked Cartman’s ass good, didn’t we?”
“Psh, anybody could whip that douche bag’s ass but true, we whipped his ass good/. We didn’t fight fair either.”, said Ivy.
“Yeah, I have a feeling nobody will fuck with any of us from now on.”, said Violet.
“Especially not Craig or Clyde.”, chuckled Denny. “They got a big dose of pain.”
Kyle’s watch beeped to signal 10 o’clock and Denny’s attention went straight to the door, waiting for whoever the nurse was to show up.
“Damn dude, are you that edgy about doing this?”, asked Kyle. “I was under the assumption that you were taking it all in stride?”
“Huh? Oh yeah.”, said Denny. “I just want to get this out in the open.”
“Hey, weren’t Mackey and Victoria supposed to come here?”, Stan remembered suddenly.
“I totally forgot about that!”, said Kenny. “They must have forgot about it.”
“Oh dude, I do not want to put up with Mackey’s mannerism after the other day. I was about to scream.”, said Violet.
“Tell me about it.”, said Denny.
“You’ll get used to that eventually.”, said Kyle. “Still, I don’t want to put up with that either.”
“Screw getting used to it, I’ll just avoid it.”, said Violet.
“What’s all this about pulling that fire alarm at your old school?”, Denny remembered suddenly.
“Oh that.”, said Violet, an evil grin spreading across her face. “You should’ve seen the look on the principal’s face when she saw it. I was known for being a badass at that school and everybody knew it but I don’t think the principal thought I had the balls to do that.”
“Define “badass”. What else did you do?””, asked Kyle, mesmerized.
“All kinds of shit. I would ditch class and spray paint cuss words on the walls, go camp out under trees outside, and beat up kids who annoyed me. When I did go to class, I slept all the time, back talked to the teachers, gave sarcastic answers when they asked me shit, and a lot more.”
“God damn,”, said Denny, impressed. “There was this kid in my class that reminded me of Cartman and he got fucked up pretty bad a few times when he pissed me off enough, including when he said something while I was trying to tell a girl I liked her. I fucked him up so bad that his mom had to come pick him up and I was in detention for 2 weeks.”
“Very nice”, said Violet. “How bad did you fuck him up? I mean like, injury-wise?”
“I gave him 2 black eyes, a bloody nose, knocked a couple of teeth out and gave him a concussion. Oh, and his arm was in a sling.”
“God damn, and they didn’t suspend you for that?”, asked Ivy, looking impressed.
“My mom managed to talk the principal out of it even though she had the paper ready to sign right then and there. Connor’s mom was livid. I used to piss off the teachers because I used to be sarcastic and would cuss in front of them and not give a shit. I also used to rebel against any rule I didn’t feel like following.”
“Shit, I’m never underestimating you again.”, said Violet.
“So basically, you’re laid-back until somebody pisses you off, then watch out?”, asked Kyle.
“Yep, that’s right.”, said Denny.
“I’d hate to breakup this conversation but Kendra is ready for you, Denny and Violet.”, said a voice, which turned out to be the nurse, while another one went to get Violet ready to go too.
“We’ll carry on with this convo when you guys get back.”, said Ivy, eagerly.
“Damn, that was fun.”, said Denny, as he and Violet were wheeled out into the hallway.
“Good luck!”, called Kyle.
“You’re not kidding about beating the fuck out of the kid?”, asked Violet, still surprised at what was said, as they boarded the elevator once more.
“I’m 100% dead serious that I did that.”, said Denny, looking straight into Violet’s eyes, non-blinking. “You saw how I reacted with Cartman. I don’t fuck around.”
Out of the elevator on the 5th floor and into the same room as yesterday, Denny and Violet were put into the same position, facing Kendra as she eagerly awaited to begin.
“So, how are you guys feeling after the excitement yesterday?”, she asked.
“I needed to vent a little afterward with Violet and Kyle but other than that, it went smooth.”, said Denny.
“Ok, if you don’t mind me doing so, I’d like to start by going over what we covered yesterday, as a refresher. We first went over what pretty much happened the night the explosion happened and you guys ended up here in the first place. With me so far?”
“We were just talking about what happened at school that day, before all that shit happened.”, said Denny.
“Maybe Cartman was so pissed off at us and allowed that idiot to brainwash him to get back at us?”
“Is there anything you want to mention about that before we move on?”, asked Kendra.
“I think we’re past that, right Denny?”, asked Violet, who nodded confidently.
“Next, we went into Denny’s comatose mind visiting his mom in purgatory and the story behind what led to him arriving in South Park. What extra details do you want to cover with that?”
“We were talking about that about an hour ago. I’m surprised I didn’t burn the house down from being so pissed.”, said Denny.
“I’m sure you only say that to emphasize the anger you felt at the time.”, said Kendra, nodding. “There weren’t any other alternatives considered?”
“Nope”, said Denny. “Going to the orphanage was the best and only thing she could think of. I doubt she even remembered having that address book or maybe it would’ve been different.”
“What did your mom do for a living?”, asked Kendra.
“She tried hiding it from me and it worked for a while but I’m too smart for that shit and eventually I knew something was up. Turns out she was a whore and that’s how she ended up with the AIDS. That had to be tiring if it paid for medical bills and all that other shit. I think that’s why Cartman’s address was in that book.”
“What do you mean by that?”, asked Violet.
“Something didn’t seem right when I got here and only saw Cartman’s mom here, and when I asked for the guy that was in the book, she acted all panicked. I never did get a straight answer about all that.”, said Denny.
“Maybe Kyle knows?”, suggested Violet.
“I hope it isn’t something I’m going to regret hearing.”, said Denny uncertainly.
“What happened when your dad got to the house you were at?”, asked Kendra.
“He seemed more nervous than anything else.”, said Denny, thinking back to the night he arrived in town. “Like I said, he hadn’t seen my mom for 10 years and didn’t even know I existed. I think he was more worried about being thrown out on his ass when my new mom found out about everything. He said something to Cartman’s mom about saving secrets until tomorrow over there probably because I was a wreck that night so he just said he wanted to get me home and settled in.”
“How was Kyle with all this when he found out?”, asked Kendra.
“Like I said, dad was all paranoid about everything and when I asked him what he was going to say to Kyle about everything, he just said he was going to come clean about me to him but then have him keep quiet about it until he told my mom, who he was going to lie about it to. I got to the house. Turns out dad never got to telling mom anything about it until he obviously came clean because while she was fixing me something to eat, dad called Kyle into the other room and told him what was going on. Dad obviously felt he had no choice after that but to tell mom and had her go upstairs with him to do so.”
“What was Kyle’s attitude after he learned of everything?”, asked Kendra.
“I’m sure dad told him to not bug me about any of what was going on so he just started general conversation with me. Once I got done eating, it was time for bed so that was the end of that night.”
“Ok, let’s skip ahead to when that phone call came, what was your mentality after what happened?”, asked Kendra, leaning forward, as Violet took a sharp intake of breath.
“Basically, I had a bad feeling about the whole thing when I got told what was going on after I got home. After dad told me about the whole power of attorney thing and the phone rang, I just knew what was coming. I’ve always had a sharp mind and I just simply knew it. When I got in the kitchen, what I thought was going on, was confirmed. I was more fucking nervous than I’ve ever been in my whole life and the doctor suggesting letting her go just made my whole body numb. When they woke her up before they pulled the plug, I remember just blasting off into the things I felt since leaving home but she said not to worry about it then it was over. I remember just standing there, staring at the phone for like 5 minutes until my knees just gave away and dad barely caught me before I crashed to the floor.”
“Ok, now I want to get into the stuff about being in purgatory. What was that like?”, asked Kendra, getting ready to write stuff down.
“I remember I woke up in this field, which the weather was warmer than South Park and with flowers of every color. I was momentarily distracted by my surroundings but then I started recalling visions of what I remembered before ending up there. It was like a scene from a bad horror movie. We were running for our lives out of the library, Violet was winded so I went after her and next thing I knew, we were thrown back and into the air 20 feet and poof, that was it.
I had started to walk around trying to find civilization and without any idea where to go and after walking for several minutes, I noticed I didn’t feel at all tired. Only then did I realize I wasn’t alone because I saw a tall figure in the distance.”
“That ended up being your mom, right?”, asked Violet. “That place must’ve been interesting to see.”
“The first thing out of my mouth was “am i dreaming?” and she said that was one way to put it and only then did I realize it was her and of course, my suspicions were either whether she was still alive or that I was dead. She explained to me about purgatory being more than just for dead people in denial and I asked her if she saw what happened that morning. She gave me words of encouragement like everyone else has and after one last hug, that was it.”
“Ok, are you ready to move on?”, asked Kendra, with concern.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”, said Denny.
“Now then, you said these memories were of younger days, correct?”
“They seemed to all be from when I was in 3rd grade.”, said Denny. “The first memory, I ended up in the inside of a closet. My former self then opened the door and caused sunlight to hit me right in the face. I got a pretty big shock when a hand passed through me and my former self didn’t even notice anything.”
“What were you doing in this memory?”, asked Kendra.
“Getting ready for school.”, said Denny. ‘I moved out of the closet to get a better look at everything and saw my former self digging around, looking for something and then I heard my mom’s voice calling me, saying I was going to be late for school. I remember saying “shit, I’m gonna miss the bus”, and once downstairs, my former self got a packed lunch from my mom, as she was saying to ignore whatever shit my old enemy did.”
“So there was a bully at your old school?”, asked Kendra.
“Yeah, he may have tried to act the part of the typical schoolyard bully but he failed epically at it. The truth is that he pissed off a lot of kids, including me, and he constantly got his ass whipped. The truth is that I get extremely violent when I get pissed off. He pissed me off so bad one day that the principal was ready to suspend me because I beat him up so bad.”, admitted Denny, having come too close to the subject.
“Really? You don’t seem that type to me?”, said Kendra. “However, not important. What were you doing in the memory at that point?”
“”It was so fucking weird to see my old friends. The teacher was in the middle of a lecture about world war two and my former self was dozing at my desk. We went out to recess and were playing kickball. I remember seeing douche bag get tagged out, threw a fit, and then tried to pick a fight with the other kid.”
“Sounds like Cartman.”, said Violet.
“He was just like him.”, Denny agreed. “If they would’ve met each other, they would’ve been engaged in a heartbeat.”
“I bet Ivy would get a kick out of that.”, said Violet.
“I wouldn’t doubt it.”, said Denny, then he turned back to Kendra. “So, is there anything that could have meaning from that?”
“Well, before we get to that point, let’s outline elements of the memory first. Things like school, childhood, and even lateness can be interpreted.”, said Kendra. “You said the first thing you saw when you arrived in the memory was a younger Denny after you were in a closet. Being in a closet means there’s something in your life you may be keeping hidden and seeing the younger you says that you want to return to older days. Next is the fact that your younger self was running late and that suggests maybe feeling unready or unwilling for change. Maybe you feel overwhelmed with current circumstances, which I don’t doubt is true, given what you’ve been through.”
“God damn, this is far more complicated than I had pictured.”, said Denny. “Maybe that can sum up to being too overwhelmed with what’s going on because I’m not ready to move on because I’m still keeping things hidden with my past, which I kind of miss being in?”
“Holy shit,”, said Violet. “I couldn’t have come up with all that if I tried.”
“Very nice.”, Kendra said, nodding approvingly. “I think we’re off to a great start with this. I think that would be a good way to put it. So now let’s add the other details of this particular memory. Let’s leave the stuff with your mom, etc. for later. Now we have school, bully can be thrown in here too, any other details we haven’t covered?”
“Oh yeah, the scene dissolved to the last day of school and we were talking about summer vacation. My friends were so jealous since we were going to Las Vegas and me and my bff were going to play laser tag too.”, said Denny.
“Ok then, we can also add vacation and friends. So, first of all, we have school, which signifies feelings of inadequacy or childhood insecurities that haven’t been resolved or metaphors of lessons you’re learning in your waking life. I’m sure this will come as no surprise to you but the detail about a bully means suppressed rage.”
“Hey, maybe that’s how you beat that kid up so bad.”, said Violet.
“Now, seeing friends signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected but are ready to acknowledge these aspects again. The relationships you have with friends is important in learning about yourself. Vacation signifies the need to recharge your energies and revitalize yourself.”, Kendra continued.
“Let’s see, I think the thing about the lessons I’m learning in life are that I should never take anything for granted, no matter what it is, because it can all just as easily be taken away in a heartbeat, the suppressed rage part only comes out when I get really pissed off, and I think the revitalization stuff is what’s taking place right here.”, said Denny.
“You’re a pretty damn smart kid, Denny. I would’ve never expected to hear such deep thoughts coming from a 9 year old boy. Even Violet is at a loss of what to say.”, said Kendra, looking at Violet who, sure enough, was watching Denny with awe.
“So, moving on, where are we at now?”, asked Kendra.
“The next memory was hard to watch.”, said Denny, remembering seeing his old self in such a state of panic. “My dream state had appeared right next to my former self, in a hospital bed, where I looked paranoid, covering my face with a teddy bear and staring at a pair of double doors. I knew it had to be in a surgical unit and the doctor came out to talk to my mom. He looked at me a few times and came over to me holding chapstick, then he asked me which one I wanted. I looked at my mom and then picked the cherry kind, so he pulled out an anesthetic mask and smeared it with the chapstick and now I knew what was going to happen and I started screaming at the top of my lungs. I just wanted to reach out an comfort the poor kid and apparently, my mom thought along the same lines because she tried and failed to do so, and now the doctor has no choice but to bring me to the OR like that. I was taken back there and it was shocking to hear the screaming and looking like being knocked out with an invisible hammer a minute later.”
“Do you know what kind of surgery it was?”, asked Kendra.
“It was an eye surgery.”, said Denny. “I actually saw them getting ready for it but the memory ended before they could cut into my eyeball. They only got as far as pulling the eyelids back and taping them It was kind of freaky seeing that.”
“Ok, a lot can be interpreted here such as surgery, anesthesia, hospital, eyes, and fear. First and foremost is the feeling of fear, which means your achievements won’t be as successful as you anticipate. Surgery means the need for emotional healing, needing to “cut out” or eliminate something from your life. Hospital signifies the need to improve physical or mental health, (which you’re doing now, while you’re in the hospital obviously). The detail about anesthetic means you’re trying to suppress feelings instead of confronting them, and again, that’s what you’re here for.”
“Let’s see, I have no idea what achievements won’t go right, and I think the other stuff can all go together as the healing process being in the hospital.”, said Denny.
“Seeing that memory would’ve torn me to pieces, especially seeing that poor kid so scared.”, said Violet, shaking her head.
“I don’t blame you.”, said Kendra. “It’s always harder when it’s a child. That’s just too young for something like that. Are we ready to move on?”
“I don’t think this next memory will be much different than the others.”, said Denny. “I was in my old room when the memory started, just as my younger self was getting home from school. It was the same old routine, let the dogs out, call my mom to tell her I was home, then do my homework. My bff called when I got done and we talked for a few minutes, then I watched tv until my mom got home and that was it.”
“The only new detail here would be homework, which symbolizes lessons learned in life or are learning. It’s important to pay attention to what the assignment involves and see how it can applied to your waking life.”, said Kendra.
“It was just old third grade stuff so I don’t know how to apply that to anything.”, said Denny.
“I’m sure it’ll come to you.”, said Kendra.
“Now comes the last memory, which is the night I left home.”, said Denny.
He took a deep breath and began to recite the difficult night that had been.
“It started with an uproar, most likely my mom had just told my younger self the news about the orphanage. I kept demanding why we couldn’t figure out where my dad was and I could just live with him but she kept saying she didn’t know if he was still in the same place or if he even would take me in. She said I’d be better off at an orphanage, so at least she would know I’d be in good hands but I kept arguing, saying those places suck and questioning doesn’t she think I want to at least know I HAVE a dad. She started to get annoyed and even though she didn’t show it, I could tell. She would like things to go as I want but that seemed unlikely, so I got so pissed and turned around and slammed and locked my bedroom door. She stood there for a minute and then went to her room where she finally broke down. Watching this in my dream state self made me feel awful about that whole thing.
So two hours goes by and the house is dark and quiet. I came out of my room and went to the junk drawer in the kitchen for my mom’s address book, where I looked and found the first South Park address I could. I seemed to make up my mind at that point and went back to my room and filled my backpack with clothes, etc., went back to the kitchen and scribbled a note to my mom, and headed out the door. I took one last look at the house and might’ve thought of going back but then turned and was gone.”
“This is the big one, isn’t it? I can see that right away.”, said Kendra. “There’s a lot to cover here. First of all, I can imagine you were feeling a lot of mixed emotions like sadness, betrayal, anger, guilt, regret,, that sound right?”
“Yeah, I try to not let it get to me but it still haunts me. I think the mixed emotions are what dominated the memory.”, said Denny.
“One person can’t feel all that shit at once, they’d explode!”, exclaimed Violet, wide-eyed.
“Trust me, that’s exactly how I felt.”, said Denny. “I think I can piece that all together. I was sad because of my mom being so close to death, I felt angry and betrayed by the whole idea of landing in an orphanage, guilty about leaving at a time like that, and regret for doing it.”
“Very wise.”, said Kendra. “Now, since you feel no need to interpret your feelings at that time, what else do you feel is important to cover in this memory?”
“Do you think revisiting this memory was for a reason like my mind wanting me to feel haunted by what went on or just something that I revisited because it was a huge turning point?”, asked Denny.
“That’s hard to say. I think it can be conquered if it’s a fear, by confronting it head-on. Remember, this has all happened in your short life but you’ve been handling it better than I would think most would.”. said Kendra.
“So maybe it’s a reminder of how far I’ve come and all that I’ve seen?”, thought Denny out loud.
“Could be.”, said Kendra.
“That’s a hell of a thing to drag with you your whole life.”, said Violet.
“I think we will wrap it up for today. You’ve had enough.”, said Kendra, standing up.
The nurses stood up and headed back to the beds as Kendra shook hands with Denny and Violet and headed out the door. Denny was thinking about what they’d covered. He was able to put what Kendra had said about the details of the memories and have at least some success in putting that into context.
“Doesn’t all that shit give you a headache?”, asked Violet, as they were wheeled back out into the hallway. “Not to piss you off or anything off of course.”
“It does but it doesn’t.”, said Denny. “I’m sure it would give you a headache but it’s interesting to look at it from this angle.”
Back inside the elevator and down to the 3rd floor once again, they arrived back to the ICU. Denny felt better about the events of the last few days. It shook him as it always did when he remembered the day he beat up Connor. He had been hoping more than anything that he could charm the 5th grader but then Connor had come and let something inappropriate slip and he embarrassed himself, which then they shot him down. He felt himself getting hotter by the second and he let out a yell and threw himself at his enemy.
The others looked up from whatever they were talking about when Denny and Violet arrived. It seemed there was a more positive air about the room.
“Hey guys, how’d it go?”, asked Kyle.
“Pretty much what I thought it was going to do. It’s a lot of shit to think about.”, said Denny.
“Sorry”, said Kyle.
“Oh shit, I forgot about the tap. Fuck.”, said Denny.
“Is that a bad thing?”, asked Stan.
“Fuck, haven’t you ever seen one of those?”, asked Denny. “That’s where they stick this long fucking needle into your back to collect fluid. I’ve seen it on House before.”
“Holy shit.”, said Violet, looking horrified. “How can somebody go through that?”.
“Hey Kyle, I almost forgot, there’s something I wanted to ask you about.”, said Denny. “I want you to be straight about this. The night I got here, I first noticed something didn’t seem right. When I took that page out of my mom’s address book back home, the name in it was Liam Cartman but when I got here, there was only his mom there and I never saw anybody else there…”
“Uh oh, this isn’t going to turn out well.”, said Stan, feeling tense.
“Anyway”, continued Denny, as though there had been no interruption, “My mom always liked to keep secrets from me but I’m too smart for that, do you know what the fuck is up with the whole deal with Cartman’s mom?”
“Uh, trust me, dude, you’re better off not knowing. It will give you nightmares if you knew the truth about Cartman’s mom.”, said Kenny, shaking his head.
“He’s right, dude. You don’t want to know.”, said Stan.
“Something tells me, I’ll get nightmares if I hear this.”, sad Violet, uncertainly.
“My guess would be yes.”, said Ivy, feeling ominous. “I’ve heard rumors and none of it would surprise me.”
“Another thing too. When I mentioned who I am, she got all tense, AND I never got a straight answer from her about that.”
‘’This just keeps getting more uncomfortable by the minute. Dude, I really don’t think you want to hear this.”, said Stan.
“Kyle! Spit it out!”, snapped Denny, causing Kyle to jump badly. He had been silent up to that point and still was silent long before he answered.
“It started when Cartman began to become obsessive over finding out who his dad was. He was ditching school and playing with dolls in his backyard. We went to Mackey, who had us tape Cartman’s behavior. We wound up…”
“Just get to the point!”, snapped Denny, again.
“Cartman found out he could do DNA testing to find out who his dad was but before he could… never mind, when was all said and done, the test showed that the father of Cartman was… Liane Cartman.”
Kyle looked at Denny, who seemed all right. Apparently the message hadn’t sunk in.
“Ok, what the fuck does that mean and what does it have to do with my mom?”, asked Denny.
“Liane Cartman is a hermaphadite, meaning she has both male and female genitals.”, continued Kyle, bracing himself for the reaction.
“And what does that have to…? Oh my fucking god, are you fucking serious?!”, said Denny, putting two and two together. “But wait, the name on the entry was Liam?”
“Liam is the masculine form of Liane.”, said Stan, regretfully.
“Ok, let me see if I got this straight,”, said Denny, slowly, “You’re telling me that Liane Cartman is a hermaphadite, meaning “Liam” is the same person and my mom having been a prostitute and had “Liam” in her address book can only have one explanation?”
“Jesus christ, you’re not serious about this?!”, exclaimed Violet.
“That’s pretty much it.”, said Kyle. “That’s why I didn’t want to say anything. When you mentioned that stuff about your mom having been a prostitute, then you ending up at Cartman’s house when you got to town, looking for “Liam”, everything clicked into place. I knew it wouldn’t be something I wanted to mention.”
“Oh my fucking god, are you sure you’re not bull shitting me about this?”, asked Denny, beginning to feel very numb.
Kyle looked at him sadly. Denny was acting exactly as Kyle had feared he would. Violet was just sitting there, mouth wide open.
“Dude, I’m sorry. This is why I didn’t want to say anything. When I figured everything out, it was the most shocking thing I could’ve possibly imagined. I didn’t want you to have to get hit with something like this.”
“So then, it’s true?”, asked Denny, weakly.
“I’m afraid it is.”, said Kyle, sadly. “I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now but please don’t hate your mom for this. She probably didn’t know at the time either.”
Denny could only sit there in total shock. Violet had a hold of his hand and squeezed it gently while the others looked on, too nervous about his reaction and that this might only be the mild part of it. Kyle felt horrible for having touched such a delicate subject. It had taken a lot of nerve to do it, even though he knew it was nothing compared to the emotional agony his brother was feeling at having been told where his suspicions had led him.
“Jesus christ, this is unbelievable.”, said Denny, in a hushed voice. “How the fuck could she have not known…? What was she thinking?!”
“She had to be really drunk not to tell the difference.”, said Violet. “Either that or “Liam” appeared more masculine at the time.”
“But how…? How could this happen?!”, stuttered Denny. “Is God punishing me for something?”
“Of course not.”, said Kyle. “You said your mom had to be really active of a whore if it paid for all your medical bills.”
“That’s even worse, how many other hermaphadites did she come across in that time? I’m 9 years old, dude, I’m too fucking young to be learning about that shit.”
A nurse came into the room at that moment and spotted Denny, which she then made straight for him.
“Denny? Are you ready to head downstairs for the spinal tap?”, she asked.
“Oh goddamnit, this is the last thing I’m worried about right now. You can’t imagine what I just found out.”, said Denny.
“Just go, dude.”, said Kenny, “That might take your mind off of that unwelcome news.”
“Alright fine, let’s get this over with.“
Denny allowed the nurse to undo the brakes to the bed and begin wheel him out of the room, not really caring about much else but “Mom, what the fuck?”.
“Good luck, dude!”, called Kyle, trying but failing to sound like he wasn’t thinking about just how fucked up the stuff between Christy and Liane sounded.
“Holy shit, this is really true? No bullshit?”, asked Violet, still at a loss for words.
“Yep, every word.”, said Kyle, sadly. “This is going to take a while to sink in.”
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Yes, it would. Out in the hallway and into the elevator, Denny was wrestling with the thought of his mom but at the same time, scolding himself for becoming so obsessive about it. His paralyzed mind came crashing back to earth as they got closer to wherever they were going.
“Uh, how exactly is this going to work?”, asked Denny, hoping he didn’t sound offhand.
“I’m sure you must be feeling scared right now.”, said the nurse, still looking straight ahead, so as to not run into anything. “Once we get downstairs, they will be able to explain the procedure to you. I’m sorry that I’m not of any help.”
“Where are we going? Oh shit, not the OR?”, exclaimed Denny, definitely scared now.
“Not the OR, no.”, replied the nurse. “We’re going to radiology and interventional CT since there’s a little bit to do before the tap is done. The doctor will let you know of the results later.”
They turned left down a hallway and through a door labeled “radiology”. Denny was wheeled into a room that looked similar to a regular x-ray room except there was a little metal table that was covered. They found the technician and nurse waiting for them as the other nurse moved the bed next to the x-ray table.
“How am I supposed to get on the table?”, asked Denny, trying his best to hide the shakiness he felt.
“Don’t worry about that.”, said the nurse, kindly. “We’ll take care of everything. You just lay back and relax and we’ll get you set up.”
The tech was busy adjusting the table as the nurses were setting up an iv pole to set up all the bags and monitor. The tech looked satisfied with the adjustments and motioned for the nurses to move the bed so that it was up against the table, got on the head and foot sides of the bed and lifted Denny onto the table, taking great care to be very wary of the broken ribs.
“Ok Denny, here’s the plan, what we’re going to be doing here is called a spinal tap. This is not going to be a fun experience but it’s a necessary thing. First things first, we’re going to do a CT of the spinal column and pinpoint exactly where we do the tap at, we mark that place, sterilize the area, stick the needle in, and collect the CSF to be tested. When the doctor is doing the tap, we need you be a in a fetal position (like being curled in a ball), that’s important.”
“How bad is this going to hurt, assuming I get no numbing?”, asked Denny.
“That will be a question for the doctor. I help out on a lot of spinal taps but I don’t know every detail of the pre-op stuff.”, said the tech.
“I guess that does mean it’s gonna hurt then.”, thought Denny, as the table was positioned to get ready for the CT.
“This will only take about a minute.”, said the tech. “After this, we will be able to mark and sterilize the area like I said. The doctor should be here momentarily but just try to relax. We will start the scan right now.”
He finished adjusting the table and went back to the control room where meanwhile, the table moved completely toward the inside of the scanner, coming to rest around Denny’s chest cavity. This was the easy part and when all was done the tech came back out, this time accompanied by the doctor, who had a surgical mask tied around his neck but not yet covering his mouth.
“Hello Denny, I’m Dr. Bailey and I’ll be performing the spinal tap. While I stick the needle in, it’s very important to stay as still as you can. It will hurt but you have to stay calm. Dr. Webber ordered this test to check the CSF for anything out of the ordinary and I urge you to trust his judgment . So then, let’s get started.”
“Ok Denny, I’m going to give you a little Valium so you don’t get too stressed out while this is being done.”, said the nurse who brought him in, as she injected the Valium into his IV.
The other nurse began to uncover the stuff on the table which ended up being gloves, sterilizer, gauze, a small vial, and a pretty long ass needle, evidently what was going to be stuck into Denny’s back. This made him start to feel tense. The doctor began to putting on the gloves as the nurse had Denny positioned carefully on his side and having him curl up into a ball with his spine exposed. As his gloves were put on, the doctor pulled up Denny’s gown and grabbed the sterilizer. As professional as he was, Denny could hear the sharp intake of breath as the doctor evidently saw the dressings covering Denny’s midsection.
“I’m going to apply the sterilizer now. This is probably going to be a little cold.”, said the doctor as he did so.
Denny jumped a bit as this was going on. Next was going to be the hard part.
“Ok, now we are at the difficult part. Remember what I said about staying as still as possible and also staying calm. This will all be over soon.”
“Calm?! How the fuck am I supposed to stay calm with this shit?!”, thought Denny, but did as he was told and did his best to keep calm. Just like Violet had done that morning when they were all having blood tests done, Denny shut his eyes tight and gritted his teeth.
The doctor picked up the needle and found the area to stick it and looked at over at Denny’s face with concern.
“Ok, get ready. Nurse, be ready for the vial. On the count of three, then. One, two, three. Here we go.”
There was a sharp pinch as the needle went into the top-middle part of Denny’s back. He couldn’t hold back the cry of pain yet didn’t move a muscle. On the other side, the doctor had the needle positioned where he wanted it and grabbed the vial. From here, he was able to collect some CSF fluid, capped the vial, grabbed the gauze, and withdrew the needle, placing the gauze over the bleeding area before taping it.
“That’s it, we’re all done.”, said the doctor, discarding the needle. “How are you feeling right now?”
“I think I’m alright.”, said Denny, opening his eyes and relaxing. “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. It looked even worse on House.”
“I take it that’s not the first thing you’ve had done that you’ve seen on there either?”, asked the doctor.
“No it’s not. There’s been a couple things and even stuff I’ve seen on older shows.”, said Denny.
The nurses got back on either side of the table, after positioning the bed back next to it, and lifted Denny back to the bed.
“Ok Denny, the post-op stuff is easy enough. I want you to take it easy for the rest of the day and try not to move around much. Stay put with your back pressed against your pillow. The results should be ready by six or so. It was nice to meet you.”
As the doctor walked to the back again, the nurses undid the brakes on the bed and began to wheel him back into the hallway. Now that it was over with, it was a huge load off Denny’s chest. The look of relief on his face was the last thing anyone expected to see when he got back upstairs. He had not forgotten what he had been told before he left but decided not to let it get to him at the moment.
“How’d it go?”, asked Kyle, brightening up when Denny had made it back to the room.
“To be honest, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.”, said Denny. “It looked much worse on House, you should’ve seen it.”
“I think I’ll pass.”, said Kyle, shuddering at the thought. The others muttered in agreement.
“Oh come on now.”, said Denny. “It may be a lot worse going through it but it isn’t like it’s going to scar you to watch it on tv. Maybe surgery.”
“What time is the doctor supposed to be in?”, asked Kenny, deliberately changing the subject, though probably for the others’ sake and not his own.
“I guess the results of the tap will be ready by six but that’s the only thing I have to go by.”, said Denny.
“Why don’t you take a nap while you’re waiting?”, suggested Violet.
“You know, that might not be a bad idea. It’s already been a long day and that doctor told me to take it easy after the tap.”, said Denny.
“Go ahead then. We’ll wake you up when the doctor comes in if you’re not up by then.”, said Stan.
So Denny carefully turned over and closed his eyes, knocking out almost instantly.
“How far away from six is it?”, asked Violet,, seeing Denny pass out and feeling bad for him.
Kyle pressed a button on the side of his phone and looked at it. “It’s about 3 right now so that should be enough of a nap.”
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Maybe it was because he had once again revisited the memories that were seen during the coma or maybe it was just his physically and mentally exhausted body letting it’s guard down, but as Denny slipped into his dream state like someone given knockout pills, the nightmares began. He had found himself next to the others in the heart of the underground chamber underneath the town square, and there, again, was Kyle trying to get Cartman to rationalize his hellbent desire to assist in the final phase in blowing up everything above and around the entire area within the chamber,
“Oh christ, you can’t be serious. I can’t relive this again.”, he thought.
“Come on! Let’s get the fuck out of here!”, Kyle had shouted and then the six of them were off, hauling ass back through the passageway leading from the library basement, through there, into the library itself, and back outside.
“Wake up, goddamnit! Wake up!”, his subconscious mind was screaming at him. “Somebody wake me up or make a loud noise or something, for Christ’s sake!”
There was only the scream of horror that he, himself, had made. As if in slow motion, Denny could only watch helplessly as he recklessly tore after his girlfriend, momentarily winded and thus unaware that she was in danger. There wasn’t enough time, he knew that even now, but he was damned if he was going to see Violet or any of his friends in danger and not put himself in the face of it to get them out. 3,2,1, BOOM. It was even worse seeing the blast from the sidelines, even if it was just a dream. He and Violet had both been blasted backward into the air with the force of the blast and landed with a sickening crunch on the ground, some 20 feet away. Violet had began to come around after a few seconds, sobbing and hurt, as the others were running to the scene. As more of the dust cleared, Denny could make himself out and felt his stomach tighten. There was his limp figure lying 10 feet from where Violet was and there was not one single sign of life present; Violet’s scream was shrill and petrified in the cold night air and Denny felt himself jerk back into consciousness, screaming at the top of his lungs, and scaring the shit out of everybody.
“Jesus christ!”, yelled Kyle, having jumped badly at the sound. “Dude, what happened?”
“Oh my god, I never want that to happen again.”, moaned Denny, holding his hand over his chest and hyperventilating.
“Did you have a nightmare or what?”, asked Violet, shaken up as well.
A nurse came running into the room, looking alarmed. Denny became aware that he was trembling and all eyes were fixed on him.
“What’s going on?”, asked the nurse. “Is there something wrong?”
“I had a really bad nightmare and now I think I’ve slept all I can.”, said Denny.
“What happened in it?”, asked Stan.
“I think you already know what it was about.”, said Denny, grimly. “The worst night of our lives, of course.”
“Did you want me to get anything to calm you down?”, asked the nurse, wanting the kids to know she was still there.
“No, I’m fine.”, said Denny. “I’ll be good to go.” She then headed back to the hall.
“Are you sure you’re ok?”, asked Kyle.
“Yes, dude.”, said Denny. “How long have I been asleep?”
“About half an hour.”, said Violet. “There’s still about 2 hours left until six.”
“I think I’m going to try again.”, said Denny. “I thought I wouldn’t but I’m so tired.”
“Go ahead. We’ll wake you up when it’s time.”, said Ivy.
This time, sleep washed over him without incident.
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They woke him up at ten to six. Denny’s head felt a million times better than when he first laid down to sleep. Still, he stayed put, on his back, and a little sore from the spinal tap.
“How’d you sleep this time?”, asked Kyle, expecting Denny to still be shaken up from his nightmare earlier.
“That was much better than earlier. Whatever caused that shit from earlier to pop up, it seems to have gone.”, said Denny.
“That’s a good thing. Are you still sore from earlier?”, asked Violet.
Denny considered this for a second then went with the truth. “Yeah, kind of.”, he said. “I didn’t expect anything different.”
The doctor walked into the room at six on the nose just as the parents got there, clipboard in hand and as usual, had the same unreadable expression.
“So, I have some good news today but that being said, we have to plan out how this is all going to work.”
Denny’s heart jumped. He wanted more than anything else to get out of this damn hospital already. “Does that mean what I think it does?”, he asked, slowly.
“The spinal tap came back negative, so that means nothing wrong on the hydro side. As far as everything else is considered, we’re making swift and significant progress. I think we can start off slowly with mobility and start getting you ready to get out of here, how does that sound?”
“Are you serious?”, asked Denny, voice cracking from excitement, “Fucking puberty”, he thought.
The doctor nodded. “This is going to take time to get used to but let’s give it maybe 2 weeks and I say we can get you ready to go. We’ll send you off with a wheelchair but remember that it’s still very important to be wary that your broken bones are still going to take time to heal, same with Violet. We are going to start to get you two accustomed to the wheelchair tomorrow and go from there.
“Kyle, we are going to keep for one more night just for observation and we’ll discharge you tomorrow morning, same with the others. Any questions for me?”
“When is the therapy going to start?”, asked Denny.
“We’ll give it about a month and we’ll get everything set up with school, etc. when we get you guys ready to be discharged. Anything else? Ok, well, get some rest and we’ll see you all later.”, said the doctor, as he took his leave.
An air of excitement began to overtake the whole of room 13 at what was just said. It was true, not one of the six survivors wanted anymore to do with this goddamned place, so not one of them was pleased about being told of having to be there another second. Kyle, indeed, was bouncing up and down in excitement, looking like a kid about to piss himself, then seeing Denny and realizing what he was doing to his brother, abruptly stopped and muttered, “Sorry”.
“Come on Big D, you’re not going to let something like that get in the way of anything, are you?”
“Not me, Boss”
“’Atta boy. Go kick some ass.”
“Ok, Boss”
“Hey, at least we’ll have each other, right?”, said a voice from nearby. Denny jerked out of his trance and realized his girlfriend was talking to him.
“Huh, what? Sorry, ears are buzzing, what was that?”
“I said, at least we’ll have each other, right? ”recited Violet.
“Oh, uh, yeah, and uh, no school, right?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s true.”, said Violet.
“Whew, nice catch Big D.”, he thought.
As was true last night, dinner was ordered and there within a half hour. There was little left to do at this point but shut off the lights and crowd around the “big “screen tv until one by one, everybody either went off to their respective rooms or curled up in their beds and went off to sleep.
Their first human contact with the outside world since school the morning of that fateful day, was imminent but it would pushed through like anything else.
*End of chapter 14*
